Loving Your Children -- Part IV

Giving Your Time

Time is something that we can give to our children that doesn’t cost anything in the way of this world’s goods. And yet, it is so very misunderstood. Again, there is no verse in the Bible that commands us to give our time to our children, but the implications are that time is a very important thing we can give to them. I believe the best Scripture that makes this clear is Deuteronomy 6:5-9.

Verse 5 tells us that we must love the Lord with our whole heart, soul and strength. And then in verse 7 we are commanded to teach “these things” to our children diligently! We are to talk about them when we are in our homes, when we are out walking, when we go to bed and when we get up in the morning. This sounds like a lot of time to me! This means that we must be WITH our children in order to accomplish this task.

I do not claim to know all that is included in “these things”, but I believe that one of the things we are to talk about is God’s faithfulness in our lives and in the lives of our family – not just our present family, but to our ancestors and those in our extended family. In that same chapter, verses 20-25, we are told that if “your son” asks you about the meaning of the things he sees and hears they should be telling him of all that the Lord did for them (the Israelites) in delivering them from the Egyptians. And I think it is even wise and helpful for us to put things up around our homes (pictures, mementos, etc.) that will cause them to ask questions and give us opportunities to share things about their heritage. Praise the Lord if they have a Godly heritage, but if they don’t there is something else that you can do! That would be to have a prayer journal and keep track of your prayers and answers so that you can show them to your children frequently so that they can see God’s work in that area of your life and so they can know that you are busy establishing a Godly heritage to pass on to them and their children. The important thing is to let your children see that God is alive and active in our lives and that He works through His people and that He has a plan for them that He is bringing about through prayer and through their family heritage.

There is a lot that could be included here in this topic about time, but I just want to cover one more item at this time and that is in the area of something we all hear in the culture. If I could, I would ask how many of you have heard the idea that it is “not the quantity of the time, but the quality that matters”? I want to go on record right now that that statement is a lie and meant to deceive loving mothers who really desire to do the right thing, but also have other things that they desire to do with their time. That statement can make us feel very good about planning our time so that we fit in a fun time at the amusement park on Saturday or on a weekend trip when we are out the rest of the week doing things we enjoy or making money so that “our kids can have everything that they need to be accepted in this world”. There is no way that we can be obedient to the mandates in Deuteronomy 6 if we are out and about most of the week except for the time we are out having some “quality time” with our kids on the weekend. I am here to tell you that small children and even some older ones may not be able to put it into words, but they would much rather have your time and attention on a daily basis just being there and providing their needs, than to have all the “stuff” or the big “thrills” that the world can provide.
So, Moms, I pray that you will take these admonitions as coming from my heart to yours. If you can apply some of these Biblical principles, your life and the lives of your children will benefit greatly through living life at the pace that God, the Creator intended was best for us! Take a walk with your kids. Plan a picnic with them and look at all the flowers that are out this time of year. Let them “help” you bake some cookies. Just enjoy them and when the time comes that they leave your home, you will not have regrets and you will not be bemoaning the fact that the time was way too short because you were way too busy or way too otherwise occupied. You only have one opportunity to raise your children. Make it count for the Lord!!!

Let's Take a Break and Make Muffins

I thought it would be good and fun to take a break from the very serious things we have all been dealing with this week and just have lunch! If you were to come to my home for lunch, chances are VERY high that I would serve you muffins of some kind as part of that lunch! I love muffins and so I thought I would share a couple of recipes with you today just for fun!

Old Fashioned Blueberry Muffins
(no mixer needed)
½ cup milk
¼ cup salad oil
1 egg
½ cup sugar
1 ½ cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
1 – 1 ½ cups blueberries (fresh or frozen)
Stir milk, oil and egg together. Add dry ingredients and stir until just moistened. Gently stir in blueberries. ( frozen blueberries may make the batter turn somewhat blue, but the flavor is not damaged!) Fill 12 muffins cups that have been greased. Bake at 400 degrees for 20 – 25 minutes.

Chocolate Chip Muffins
(Makes 10 large muffins or 22 regular muffins)
1 stick butter or margarine
½ cup white sugar
½ cup brown sugar
1 ½ teaspoons vanilla
Cream the above.
3 eggs – add to above mixture
2 cups flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 cup sour cream
Mix dry ingredients and add alternately with the sour cream.
1 cup mini chocolate chips
Stir into above batter and mix well. Spoon batter into greased muffin cups and set aside.
TOPPING for muffins:
½ cup brown sugar
2 Tablespoons butter or margarine
2 Tablespoons flour
Mix with a fork until mixture resembles coarse meal.
1/3 cup mini chocolate chips
Add to above mixture and sprinkle over muffins. Bake at 350 degrees for about 15 to 25 minutes (depends on size of muffins). Check often after 15 min.

Loving Your Children -- Part III

Shielding Them

I am writing today on a topic that probably wouldn’t have come up this soon had it not been for the events that occurred on Monday, April, 16, 2007. It is hard to overlook this grave event and go on to any other topic. No, I am not going to write about the terribleness of what happened, but I am going to give my thoughts on how we as mothers and grandmothers can shield our children and grandchildren from the culture in which we live. Just as Jesus longed to gather the children in Jerusalem together “as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings” (Matthew 6:37), we need to gather our children and protect them from the wickedness of our culture!

I am sure that some of you are wondering how I am going to suggest that you shield your children from these things. Well, let me assure you that I am well aware that we cannot lock our kids or ourselves up in a room and throw away the key! I am suggesting, however, that we can do things that will give them the tools to be able to respond to events of this nature that WILL occur during their lifetimes. And if my predictions are correct, as I look back over the 59 years that I have been in this world, it appears to me that these events will occur with more and more frequency as we move along through this century!

First of all, don’t let your children have free reign over the television or computer! They don’t need to see any of the coverage of such events! (As far as that goes, we moms and grandmas don’t need to see all that much of the coverage either. Does it encourage or edify us to see all the details that the media thrusts upon us without warning? Does it cause us to think about things that are pure and honorable and lovely? Philippians 4:8) At this point, you might react with a comment about living in “the real world” and how children need to know what goes on in their world. I will respond with a question: Who determines what the real world is for your children? God’s Word says that “God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7) So if your children have fear, it is not from God. And to let them see any of the coverage of this type of event on the television (or to let them watch programming of any kind that instills fear) cannot be of God! So remember, when your friends or others say something about how maimed your children are going to be socially if they don’t know what is going on in the “real world”, let them know that the “real world” for your children is the one that God has helped you establish in your home through the guidance of His Word. And how do I know so much about this argument? It was used many times on our family as we raised our children and protected them from so many of the pitfalls that were prevalent during the ‘80’s and the ‘90’s.
I guess I won’t get to a second point today as I don’t want anyone to fall asleep reading when I know that many of you must work hard to carve out precious time to check on what is new on the computer. I will try to get back to this topic soon. Have a great week and don’t forget to pray for your children.

Loving Your Children - Part 2

Titus 2:3&4 “That the older women likewise…teach the young women to…love their children.”

“Pray without ceasing!” I Thessalonians 5:17. What does it mean to pray without ceasing? I wondered about that for many years, until I had children! There is something about raising children that taught me a lot about that verse!

God commands us to pray for all kinds of things, but until we have something for which we carry a great burden, praying is kind of perfunctory and usually done out of obligation or habit. I have thought for a long time that if having children doesn’t drive a Christian mother to pray, then we need to check to see if she is alive! Where does the burden come from? Well, as you look at the world around you and see what it is that your children will face as they grow up, it should strike you that without God’s personal intervention in their lives, there is little hope of maintaining a godly walk with the Lord. If we truly desire God to intervene and save their souls and give them strength to “stand” (Eph. 6:13), then we must spend much time on our knees.

There are many examples of godly mothers who spent time praying and saw God do great work in and through their children. God reminds us in James 5:17 that “The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” Who would we want to benefit from our prayers more than our children?

I think it is important that your children know that you are praying for them. I think if they realize the importance that you place on prayer for them, that in itself will have a great effect on them. AND let them know when you receive answers to your prayers. Children need to know that God answers prayer and what better way than to let them know what you are praying and when you receive the answers?

When you pray together, let them hear you pray for them. Hopefully, praying together is an important part of each day in your home. If you have a husband who isn’t interested in this aspect of life, then take it upon yourself to do it. Remember the example of Timothy in the Bible who was won and grew up with the prayers of his mother and grandmother. (By the way, Grandmas, the kids need to know that you are praying for them as well.)

Start each day with an emphasis on prayer. We used to pray as we walked out the door on our way to take them to school. If there is any place where they need to be covered by your prayers, it is at school – no matter the kind! This season in their lives REALLY spurred me on to pray! We had had the kids in home school and Christian School, but when we put them into public high school, that is when my burden to pray for them really peaked! I with a friend even started a Moms in Touch group to help get mothers together for prayer that God would protect the hearts of our children as well as that we might have opportunities to reach the hearts of their teachers! It was a wonderful blessing and we had opportunities at the school that we would have never otherwise had! Some teachers even came to us a few times to give us prayer requests!

This just touches the surface, but the important thing is that you need to pray for your children, Moms! And it never stops! There will never be a time when you can think that your job in that area is finished! NEVER underestimate what God will do in honor of the prayers of a godly mother!

Just to update my last entry – our grandson came through surgery well, Praise the Lord. We had a good little trip over spring break and enjoyed the time with our son as his son went through this little medical event. There is nothing so rewarding than to see one of your children adopting your same priority on prayer or any other spiritual priority.

REMEMBER: “Be not weary in well-doing, for in due season you WILL reap if you faint not!” Galatians 6:9

Loving Your Children - Part 1

Titus 2: 3&4 “That the older women likewise…teach the young women to love their husbands and to love their children.”

We talked in the last series about loving your husbands and I trust there were some practical ideas for you to practice in learning how to accomplish that. The next topic in Titus 2 relates to loving your children.

I want to point out something that kind of builds a bridge between these two admonitions and that is that loving our husbands comes first. I have been there, so I know that it is very easy, when that first little one comes into your home, to focus in on him/her and let your husband be more on his own! He, after all, is a “big man” and that little baby needs us so much! It is very easy to give all of our time to the baby and kind of let our relationship with our husbands go “on the back burner” to be picked up again after the last child leaves the home. I know all about this and I wish someone had cautioned me during those early years of motherhood as I found it very natural to give most of myself to those helpless babies and assume my husband would do well on his own. Oh, I did the necessary chores of making the meals and keeping the house relatively clean and keeping his clothes washed, but I was giving so much time and emotion to those babies that I know now that I wasn’t totally being there for my husband.

You may wonder how to balance everything during those years, and it is difficult. I think it is true that the wife (mother) sets the tone in the home and so it requires a lot of planning and dedication to keep everything in perspective. But I think that is why God gave women such an array of emotions – we have an ability to love many people at the same time and balance things that might overwhelm our husbands. And we need to remember the truth that God equips us for everything HE asks us to do. (Philippians 2:13) If we find we can’t do everything we are trying to do, then we are trying to do something that isn’t a priority to God!

First of all, it is very important that you set goals (short term and long term) for yourself and your family. Of course, you and your husband should be setting these goals together so that you are both working toward the same ends. (If you don’t have time to do that just now with your husband, think of the Biblical goals set in the Scripture and work toward those.) Next, prioritize your time. Make a list of the things that you need to do in a given day. Look over your list and cross off anything that isn’t necessary to meet your Biblical goals. Be sure to leave time for yourself to do something meaningful or helpful to your own personal growth in making you the wife and mother God wants you to be. Be sure you are getting a good amount of rest. You will function better and be more efficient if you are rested. If you are getting up in the night with children, then sleep when they do during the day. Make sure your children are at least resting an hour each afternoon – this is important for them, but it is also important for you as you need to have something left to give when your husband comes home. There are other things you can do, but this is a start.

The best thing you can do with any of the thoughts that are shared here is to take one bite-sized piece and try it tomorrow. (If I were you, I would start with the one-hour rest time for the kids!) Practice that and then add another bite-sized piece. If you always say, “I will try that some day”, you will continue on in frustration and miss some of the blessings that God has planned for you.

Well, this kind of bridges the gap between loving your husband and loving your children. These are not meant to be theological lessons, they are just thoughts from my heart that I hope will help you in a very practical way to avoid some of the pitfalls that will come your way if you follow the patterns of the culture.

I will be away from the computer for a week or so, but next time I will share my heart on how to accomplish the very important responsibility of loving your children by praying for them. Our grandson, Iain, born January 28, 2007, will be having hernia surgery on April 5. We would appreciate the prayers of anyone who would think about him on that day. As God has planned it, we were going to be in Dayton on that day anyway, so we will be able to be there with his parents to make their day a bit easier, we hope. Have a good week.

Loving Your Husband Part III

Loving Your Husband - Part III
(Fun ((and inexpensive)) ways to show your husband that you love him)

Today I am just going to share some ways that I have found to be helpful in showing love to my husband over the 37 years of marriage that we have enjoyed. None of these things are in the Bible, but if they can jog your mind to think of things to do for your own husband, then risking my personal thoughts and ideas is worth it!

First of all, I remember when I was growing up, they told us that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”. Well, after being married for over 37 years, I am not sure if that is entirely accurate, but I do know that it helps! Since I love to cook, it has been very fun for me to think of things to do related to food that have been an encouragement for him. If cooking isn’t your thing, you probably still like to eat good food. Part of my motivation for cooking good food is that I enjoy eating and I am too frugal (cheap) to buy it all out! There are lots of ways of finding good and fun recipes. There are cookbooks that give the most beautiful and appealing pictures of the food for you to prepare. There are very beautiful food magazines with delicious recipes that aren’t difficult. “Taste of Home” is the one that I thoroughly enjoy. And finally, there are WEB sites where you can find hundreds of recipes for anything you might like to cook! The availability of recipes is boundless!

We live within 10 miles of Lake Michigan, so one of the fun things that we enjoy from time to time is to go to the Lake and eat our supper. I make something cold (wraps, salad, etc.) along with some chips and cookies and we go over and park the car so we can see the lake and we eat our supper. If the weather permits, we often sit at one of the many picnic tables along the channel and enjoy the boats coming and going. I know that you are not all blessed to live near one of the Great Lakes, but you have your own kind of beauty wherever you live. Be sure you enjoy it with your husband/family. We often did this when our kids were still home as well.

We do go out to eat from time to time, but that isn’t our source of happiness, so when we are on the road, we often plan fun things to eat in the car. I plan things similar to the things we eat at the Lake and we enjoy things that I don’t make often when we are home. Instead of always going to a restaurant where we are bombarded with the coming and going of other people, we will just take fun things that aren’t on our “diet” and have a little enjoyment with the food!

Another thing I do to love my husband is to try to schedule my days around his schedule. I try to make sure that my “work” is done before he comes home so that I can be available to be with him and share our evenings together. I love to help him when he has a project around the house and we love to chat about the things going on in our lives. I used to tell my kids that “people are more important than things” and that is especially true in respect to our husbands! No one deserves our best time more than he does!

Finally, we love to do things together like bike riding, walking and camping. These activities are conducive to being able to spend uninterrupted time chatting without the phone and other disruptions.

I am sure that you have your own set of options, but just be sure that you schedule those things into your day! If you always talk about doing things with him in the future it will never happen, because the future never gets here! God will be glorified in the marriage of a husband and wife who are devoted to being together and doing things with each other! That is not a common sight in our culture, so you will be sure to attract others to “see your good works and glorify your Father Who is in Heaven”! Matthew 5:16

“Picnic by the Lake” recipe ideas:

Wraps: 2-4 flour tortillas
2-4 tablespoons sour cream mixed with some dry ranch dressing mix
Spread tortillas with sour cream mixture. Lay a piece of thin smoked turkey over the sour cream. Put some shredded cheddar cheese over turkey and roll up like a jelly roll. Insert a toothpick to hold. Serve with pickles – dill or sweet.

Chicken Salad: The meat from two chicken breast halves cooked and shredded.
1 cup pineapple tidbits OR chopped grapes
½ cup finely chopped celery
½ - 1 cup chopped walnuts
½ cup shredded cheese
½ cup sour cream
½ cup mayonnaise
Mix all of the above and serve over a lettuce leaf or whatever you have to make it pretty.

Love Your Husbands Part 2 - Titus 2:3,4

My last entry was concerning the responsibility for wives to love their husbands. I shared three areas which are important manifestations of your love for him. They were:

Keep yourself looking nice and attractive to him. (And ONLY him!)
Keep your home looking warm and clean for him.
Keep good and enjoyable food on the table.

Today I want to just add a couple more ideas of ways you can love your husband. (There are MANY more. Be creative!)

First of all, loving your husband involves giving him high respect! Scripture doesn’t exactly use the word “respect” but in Ephesians 5:22, we are told to “submit to your own husband as to the Lord”. Is there a better way to show respect than to submit to his desires and plans? I know this is not a popular practice in our culture, but we are under the authority of the Word of God and not under the whims of the culture. I do not want to get into a whole discussion here about wifely submission, I just want to remind us all that God is the final authority on marriage and it was all His plan and design and the ways of the culture haven’t proven themselves to be very sound and don’t have a good track record. So we need to listen to the one Who ordained marriage instead of the culture which is very good at destroying marriages!

The last point that I want to mention today is to pray for your husband and let him know that you are doing just that. I know that many of us know this in our heads, but how often do we actually remember during our busy days to pray for the man that God has given us for our lifetime companion? How often do you remember to thank God for your husband? (While we are on the topic of being thankful, when is the last time you thanked your husband for being your husband?) If prayer is our God-given way to talk with our Heavenly Father, then let’s be sure we come each day to talk with God about the man God has blessed us with and let us allow God to use us to be a blessing to him!

May we all be encouraged to see how God might use some of these thoughts in our marriages as we seek to be the wives that God has called us to be!