"...To Be Discreet..."

“…The older women likewise…that they teach the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet…” Titus 2: 3-5.

As we work our way through Titus 2, we have come to the third quality to be taught by the older women and that is to teach the young women to be discreet. A related word that we use more often would be the word “discretion”. I have looked up the word “discreet” in Websters Dictionary and it says “to be careful about what one says or does”. And since what is in our thoughts usually comes out our mouths, I would add to that to be careful what we think about. There are areas where I think we can all use some reminders as we walk through our lives.

I think one of the first things that would come to our minds would be in the area of gossip. Maybe we are all thinking that we are O.K. in this area as we don’t gossip maliciously. However, gossip is one of those things that can creep in and be very subtle and we are suddenly over the line. First of all, I don’t think that men are told to be “discreet”. I think that is significant as that tells me that God is implying that this is a problem that is more natural to ladies. I have been there, so I know the pitfalls that exist and I still watch my tongue at all times in order to keep ahead of this particular pitfall!

As ladies, we have our ways of gossiping that seem very “spiritual”. One of those ways is in the area of prayer. We can sometimes update everyone on the latest news by giving it in the form of a “prayer request”. Now there is nothing wrong with praying for a personal problem of one of our friends, but I kind of use the measuring stick of, “Would I be praying for this thing if I were all alone or is it more on my mind because I have an audience with whom to share it?”

I also sometimes share things with my husband under the guise of “I just need to tell someone!” Well, if it isn’t an uplifting piece of news and if it is not something that he needs to know, then I really don’t need to burden him down with it until or unless it comes to the time when he needs to know it. Of course, I never make a promise to hear something and NOT share it with my husband. You always need to be careful of something that is told to you if you are asked to promise not to tell your husband!

So far I have mentioned a couple of areas where we need to practice discretion in our conversation. There are also ways of being indiscreet in our actions.

Ladies, we live in a culture where we are encouraged to be like men! We can take their jobs, we can wear their clothes, we can talk their language and we can shout our views. Let’s remember that “gentle and quiet spirit which is very precious in the sight of God.” (I Peter 3:4) (I will probably take that verse up in more detail at some point.) Much of this kind of thinking comes from the media that we all take into our minds. Let’s be careful of what we allow into our minds. There is VERY little on television that is of any value to us and it definitely affects our thinking and we need to be very careful of how much mindless and Godless information we allow into our minds. We are told to “renew our minds” (Romans 12:2) (That topic will come into full discussion at some point as well.) But suffice it to say that you cannot renew your mind by taking in the information that is funneled into your home without using great discretion. I know! I used to think that if I watched something on television while my kids were napping, it was probably all right as “I was mature” and I knew how to handle things that weren’t good enough for the kids to watch. Well, I was wrong! If it is not “good enough” for the kids, it is off limits to me as well. Again, Psalm 100 says “I will set NO WICKED THING before my eyes.” And Ephesians 5:12 says “It is shameful to speak of those things which are done by them in secret.” So let’s be honest with ourselves and let’s refuse to let the culture dictate what thoughts control our minds! Filth, wickedness, unfaithfulness, adultery, immorality, argumentative spirits, disobedience of children, role reversals, etc. are all things that are off limits to Christians! Let’s think about things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, and good. (Philippians 4:8) This is the Biblical method for renewing your mind and thinking with true discretion!

There will be more later on renewing your mind, but for now, take one bite sized piece and work on it this week. Set one goal related to learning to be more discreet and let God give you strength and help to make one step in the right direction.