Loving Your Children - Part 1

Titus 2: 3&4 “That the older women likewise…teach the young women to love their husbands and to love their children.”

We talked in the last series about loving your husbands and I trust there were some practical ideas for you to practice in learning how to accomplish that. The next topic in Titus 2 relates to loving your children.

I want to point out something that kind of builds a bridge between these two admonitions and that is that loving our husbands comes first. I have been there, so I know that it is very easy, when that first little one comes into your home, to focus in on him/her and let your husband be more on his own! He, after all, is a “big man” and that little baby needs us so much! It is very easy to give all of our time to the baby and kind of let our relationship with our husbands go “on the back burner” to be picked up again after the last child leaves the home. I know all about this and I wish someone had cautioned me during those early years of motherhood as I found it very natural to give most of myself to those helpless babies and assume my husband would do well on his own. Oh, I did the necessary chores of making the meals and keeping the house relatively clean and keeping his clothes washed, but I was giving so much time and emotion to those babies that I know now that I wasn’t totally being there for my husband.

You may wonder how to balance everything during those years, and it is difficult. I think it is true that the wife (mother) sets the tone in the home and so it requires a lot of planning and dedication to keep everything in perspective. But I think that is why God gave women such an array of emotions – we have an ability to love many people at the same time and balance things that might overwhelm our husbands. And we need to remember the truth that God equips us for everything HE asks us to do. (Philippians 2:13) If we find we can’t do everything we are trying to do, then we are trying to do something that isn’t a priority to God!

First of all, it is very important that you set goals (short term and long term) for yourself and your family. Of course, you and your husband should be setting these goals together so that you are both working toward the same ends. (If you don’t have time to do that just now with your husband, think of the Biblical goals set in the Scripture and work toward those.) Next, prioritize your time. Make a list of the things that you need to do in a given day. Look over your list and cross off anything that isn’t necessary to meet your Biblical goals. Be sure to leave time for yourself to do something meaningful or helpful to your own personal growth in making you the wife and mother God wants you to be. Be sure you are getting a good amount of rest. You will function better and be more efficient if you are rested. If you are getting up in the night with children, then sleep when they do during the day. Make sure your children are at least resting an hour each afternoon – this is important for them, but it is also important for you as you need to have something left to give when your husband comes home. There are other things you can do, but this is a start.

The best thing you can do with any of the thoughts that are shared here is to take one bite-sized piece and try it tomorrow. (If I were you, I would start with the one-hour rest time for the kids!) Practice that and then add another bite-sized piece. If you always say, “I will try that some day”, you will continue on in frustration and miss some of the blessings that God has planned for you.

Well, this kind of bridges the gap between loving your husband and loving your children. These are not meant to be theological lessons, they are just thoughts from my heart that I hope will help you in a very practical way to avoid some of the pitfalls that will come your way if you follow the patterns of the culture.

I will be away from the computer for a week or so, but next time I will share my heart on how to accomplish the very important responsibility of loving your children by praying for them. Our grandson, Iain, born January 28, 2007, will be having hernia surgery on April 5. We would appreciate the prayers of anyone who would think about him on that day. As God has planned it, we were going to be in Dayton on that day anyway, so we will be able to be there with his parents to make their day a bit easier, we hope. Have a good week.