More on Train Up a Child

Wow! What a summer! We have had a very busy and wonderful summer! As I came through the summer, it became increasingly difficult to carve out time to write on my blog and know that it would be coherent! It was a wonderful summer, but now we are settling back into the school routine, so I will try to be more regular. Just a word about our activities of the summer: We had a camping trip to South Carolina for almost two weeks in June. In July we took a train trip to Denver for a week. And in August we had our family (13 of us in all now) camping trip to Southern Indiana for part of a week. In between we entertained guests from Minnesota, Ohio and Indiana. So I was planning for activities most of the time except when we were actually doing the activities! It was great and we praise the Lord for the opportunity to spend such a wonderful and satisfying summer!

I am going to go on with my discussion of characteristics we want to train into our children as a result of the admonition in Proverbs 22:6. We often hear or quote that verse, but I wonder how often we sit down to think about what we should actually be training into our children. I have discussed the concept of being sure of their Salvation and making sure they understand their need to “fear the Lord”. We also discussed how to teach your children how to have some Biblical discernment. Today, I would like to encourage you to make sure your children understand the importance of having a regular and meaningful prayer life.

So why should we teach our kids the importance of prayer? Well, there are many verses in the New Testament that tell us of the benefits of praying and Jesus Himself taught us the pattern for prayer in Matthew 6:9-13. So the first and main reason for teaching our children to pray is because it is a Biblical command. Some other reasons include the fact that we are to be thankful and this is done in prayer. We are also to confess our sins which is also accomplished by prayer. Confession is actually included in “The Lord’s Prayer”. We are also to pray for those “who despitefully use you”. We are to pray for the sick. We are to pray for our government leaders. And there are many other specific reasons for praying.

As I look back over my life, it was my grandfather and my parents who were probably the most influential in my life in the area of prayer. Children are not born with an innate understanding of the need for prayer. It is something that needs to be taught, both in words and by actions. I have heard it said that one of the main reasons children walk away from the faith of their parents is the fact that parents teach concepts to their children and then the children don’t see the teaching in action in the lives of their parents.

So how can we as mothers play a role in teaching this concept of prayer to our children? Under most circumstances, we are with the children a higher percentage of the time than anyone else, so we have a large responsibility to teach these concepts to the kids. The obvious thing for us to do is to pray with the children each and every day. Make prayer a part of their daily activities. Teach them everything you know about prayer and then search the Scriptures to find all you can about the reasons for praying. Then pass this on to them. Pray for things as a family and make a big deal when God answers! I truly believe from my experience of raising children that one of the things God does to build the faith of a child is to answer prayers for them regularly! Let the children know that you (and their dad if he prays with you) pray for them regularly and that there is no circumstance that is too small or too big for you to take it to God in prayer! Take them to Prayer Meeting and let them hear other adults pray. Can you remember the older Godly men and women in your life that prayed in Prayer Meeting and sounded like they were speaking face to face with the living God?

Finally, it is important to pray at every meal, before going to bed and any other regular time during the day that is convenient for you and your family, but it is also important to make prayer a living part of every day and include God in every decision and every challenge and every need of every day! This will speak volumes to your children of how important prayer is in your life and this will go a long way in making prayer a very important part of their lives!

Discernment - Proverbs 22:6

We are working through some lessons inspired by the verse in Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” We have covered a couple of basic topics of Salvation and the fear of God. Another concept we need to train into our children is discernment, how to distinguish between right and wrong from a Biblical perspective.

The first principle that needs to be understood is that outside of Biblical guidelines, there is no “right” or “wrong”. For the Bible is the foundation of all that relates to God Who is the source of our knowledge of “right” and “wrong”. Apart from a knowledge of God, we are all left to decide what is right or wrong for ourselves. Your children must have this foundational understanding before they will be able to learn to discern.

I want to explain how to approach this teaching in a way that I hope you will understand. It is a way that is very clear to me, so I will try to describe it to you. I think that we need as parents, to build what I call a “grid” in the hearts and minds of our children. You see, there are many areas requiring discernment that come up in a day and it is hard to have a “discernment rule” for each circumstance. If we build a grid into the hearts and minds of our children, then when something comes up, if it doesn’t fit their “grid”, they will know how they should respond to it. A “grid” is basically a network of concepts and principles we all have to one extent or another, that we use to make daily decisions in life.

We have all heard the saying that “square pegs don’t fit into round holes”. Well, that is kind of like a “grid”. As our children are growing up, we need to teach them Godly Biblical principles. As we do this they can apply these principles to most or maybe all of the situations that will come up in life. And one principle that will cover those issues that may not be covered by the grid is this – If in doubt, don’t! (Romans 14:23) In other words if something isn’t clear based on the grid that is in my heart and mind, then it is probably best not to do the thing in question. An example of how a “grid” works is this: If we teach our children the principle in Psalm 101:3 (I will set no wicked thing before my eyes…), then when the TV is on and something comes on that is not uplifting, they will know that this is the kind of thing we should not watch. It is, of course, necessary that you teach them to be sensitive about what things are wicked in order for this to work, but I think that is very do-able as well. Teach them Biblical guidelines of how people should dress. Teach them Biblical behavior within the family and within the community. This requires that you spend a lot of time with them so that you can use every teachable moment. Watch TV with your children so they can see how you apply the principle taught in Psalm 101:3. This concept of discernment will not happen in five minute segments that fit between your work schedule and all the other things that you want to do for your own pleasure. It is a daily talking with them as you walk with them each and every day as stated in Deuteronomy 6.

Another Biblical principle is the one taught in Hebrews 10:25 where we are admonished not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together. If your children have been taught this principle in Word as well by example, then when something comes up that interferes with one of the scheduled services of the church, your children will know how to make the decision of which event takes priority. I hope these two examples (and there are many more) give you an idea of how to help your child construct a “grid”. You as the parent need to give them the tools from God’s Word and set the example in order to accomplish this, but it is worth the time and effort to reap the benefit of a child who knows how to discern for a lifetime!

Prayer Requests for May 22

Isn’t it comforting to remember that “the heart of the king is in the hand of the Lord”, that God has the power to turn that heart wherever He wishes?! We have some people running for President who think that they are pretty much able to accomplish anything they want to do and who think that you and I and everyone else will believe everything they say and trust them with our lives! How sad for them to overlook the power that God wields in this world! How sad for them to think that they have control of anything! Let us rest in the joy of knowing that our Heavenly Father not only watches over us, but He is in full charge of His Creation and will move His plan forward with or without the help of any particular human being!

1. Praise for the safe trip of President Bush to the Middle East and back.

2. Pray for the ongoing results of the Primaries. There are three more, so keep praying.

3. Pray for the safety of the candidates as they travel around the country.

4. Pray that righteousness and truth will prevail!

5. Pray that those who speak falsely will be held to God’s standards of Truth.

Summary of Deuteronomy 6

I hope you all had a happy Mother’s Day with your mother or with your children! All of my children and grandchildren were home and it was a terrific day! There were 13 of us in church on Mother’s Day morning and we needed TWO rows! That was the fulfillment of one of my prayers and hopes!

I thought I was finished with Deuteronomy 6, but I have one more thought that I would like to insert before I go on to another topic. I was talking with one of my daughters over the past couple of weeks and it gave me a thought concerning something that has been on my mind for a time now. There is a verse in James 4:14 which says, “Whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” Now that verse could come across as a bit fatalistic or depressing if we don’t catch the thoughts behind the message. I have been thinking about it for a time and this is what I have come up with from the perspective of family issues. Some of you may have thought this through long ago, but as a math person, it takes me time to think through things that are a bit more abstract in nature!

In the discussion of Deuteronomy 6, I discussed the importance of putting reminders around your home that would remind your children of their heritage, both their family heritage and their ‘spiritual’ heritage. After thinking about James 4:14 and the concept of the “vapor”, I have come to the conclusion that in reality all we have is this present moment! Everything else we have in our minds to think about is either a memory or an anticipation of some future event. We can hold something in our hand that is with us for this one moment, but the future or past for that item is only in our minds as a memory or an anticipation! So how does this relate to Deut. 6? I think it means that it is more important than ever that we make sure that our children grow up with LOTS of memories and it is even more important that we make those memories meaningful! If a huge percentage of their mind is full of memories, wouldn’t we want those memories to be good and wholesome and something they can grow with? Hence we see the idea that we as parents are responsible to see to it that there are things around our homes and also events that will bring good memories to their minds! God forbid that when they think about growing up they would remember the television, or the computer or the video games more than they remember Mom or Dad reading them some stories or playing games with them or having family devotions at a scheduled time. God forbid that they would remember everyone scurrying around getting ready to go off in all different directions every morning more than they would remember family outings or “family devotions” or “family game night”!

So what do we do to make sure that the memories that our children remember are the right memories? Some of that was discussed in a previous entry, but you should start right now and determine each and every day that you will do one thing that you would like your children to remember and that would give them some warm memories of their growing up years. Do one thing that would help them remember the spiritual emphasis you displayed in your home. It takes a lifetime to live a life, so don’t assume anything is too late! Start where you are and take little steps and you will be surprised how things will grow and become what you would like them to be.

Trust this makes sense to you. It has been mulling around in my mind and I trust God has enabled me to give you the gist of what I am trying to share! We are all on this journey called life and just as I like it when someone gives me clues as to where the best campgrounds are and best places to eat when we go on vacation, I trust we are that desirous to know some of the road signs on this journey called “parenting”!

A Challenge to Mothers

We are coming to another Mother’s Day and I am going to take a break and post a special tribute/challenge to mothers. There will also be a couple of special recipes from among my own mother’s favorites, so keep reading!

As I am sure most of you know, mothers have a very important and unique job. You have either had a mother or you are a mother or both! I would like to highlight some of the most important responsibilities that I think fall into the job description of a mother.

First of all, is the job of ‘being there’ for your children. There are many other people who can change your baby’s diaper, provide food for your children, play games with your children, teach them to brush their teeth, etc., but there is no one who will just plain love your children like you do! The others can accomplish the tasks, but it is just that, a task! No one else includes the loving touches, the pats on the head, the warm kisses etc. that you as their mother will provide!

The next responsibility of a mother is to support your husband (if possible) in teaching your children about spiritual things. Children need to know at an early age that they are accountable to God for their behavior and for their goals and purpose in life. That should be a high priority of the mother, for you see, as a child ages, he is more and more influenced by our culture and he is more and more distracted by the things that the culture offers and he will be harder and harder to reach as he grows through his childhood and life. And since in most homes, it is the mother who spends the most time with her children, then a great deal of this responsibility falls to her.

Another important responsibility of the mother is to teach your children how to be tender and gentle. You are probably going to be the first person from whom your child will receive unconditional love and you are the one who will be there when he hurts, either physically or emotionally. You are the one who will wipe his tears, so do it gently and carefully. Children have to grow up in a tough world, but from their mother they need to learn how to be tender and the “tough” will come when it is time.

There are many other things that children should learn from their mothers, but the last one I would like to touch on is that children should learn to serve others from you. You see, God has given to women the responsibility of ministering to the “poor and needy” (Proverbs 31 20). And ideally, all of us should participate in this task. As we all know, children are not born with the desire to minister to other people. It is something that needs to be learned, so who is the best person to teach them that art? Well, I believe it is their mother as she is the one who gives the most time to rearing the children and making sure they are equipped to do their part in the family, the church and the society.

And how do we successfully accomplish all of these tasks? Prayer should be a top priority for moms! No matter how busy you are, never let your schedule squeeze out your time to pray for your children! And let them know you are praying for them. Let them hear you pray and let them know that it is one of your highest priorities!
So what is in this for the mother? Well, I believe that next to hearing the words, “Well done”, from my Savior, would be the honor of hearing my children “rise up and call me blessed”! (Proverbs 31:28) That will be reward enough for me!

My own mother has been in Heaven for almost sixteen years, and I miss her every day! She was one of the very best friends I have ever had and I have many good memories of our times together! Those of you who still have your moms, cherish the time you have to spend with them. Never take them for granted! Let them know you appreciate them! In honor and tribute to my mother (Who never even touched a computer as far as I know and who would be totally overwhelmed if she even knew I have the capability of sharing her recipes with people all over the world), I would like to share with you a couple of her favorite recipes!

Mountain Pie
1 stick butter (melt in a 9 by 13 glass casserole pan)
Mix the following and pour over melted butter - pour all the way to the edges
1 cup flour
½ cup white sugar
½ cup brown sugar
1 ½ teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
¾ cup milk
Pour one quart of your favorite canned fruit, or equivalent sugared fresh fruit, over the batter
Bake at 350 for 45 minutes. (We like to use part peaches and part blueberries)

Pecan Slices (bars)
1 stick butter (melt in a 9 by 13 cake pan)
Mix the following and pour over melted butter – all the way to the edges
4 eggs
1 pound brown sugar
1 ½ cup flour
1 – 1 ½ cup pecans or walnuts
Bake at 325 for 30 minutes.
GLAZE: Mix the following and drizzle over warm bars
½ cup powdered sugar
½ teaspoon butter
2 teaspoons lemon juice

Thou Shalt Fear the Lord Thy God

Deuteronomy 6:13 a.) “Thou shalt fear the Lord Thy God…”

There is one more concept in Deuteronomy 6 that I would like to cover as it pertains to teaching your children. The concept to which I am referring is the one above from
verse 13. I truly believe that the idea that we should have a healthy fear of God has been lost in our culture. I know there were times in the past when there was a very serious fear of God to the point that people almost lost the fact that God loves us, but I think now we have come too far the other way and talked about God’s love to the exclusion of the need to fear Him.

Proverbs 9:10 states that, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom…” I am not a language scholar of any kind, but I am going to deduce from this verse that it is very hard for one to be wise without fearing the Lord! Now a person could possibly be very smart and be very logical, but to be wise requires “the fear of the Lord”.

Now, let me use an example from my home where I grew up to show you how I think this plays out. My dad was the disciplinarian in our home and I knew it and had a very healthy fear of him, especially if I had made decisions that I knew he wouldn’t consider to be very “wise”. He had very large hands and besides that, he had a leather strap that he left hanging behind his bedroom door. Now my dad and mom had generally taught us how they thought things should be done, and we learned that if we veered from their desires for how things should be done without good reason or without consulting them, we would reap the results either by hand or with the strap. This cultivated a certain amount of fear in our hearts for my dad!

God has given us an instruction book and it is called the Bible. In that book, He tells us how we should conduct ourselves and how we should live our lives. Now, one difference with God is that His discipline isn’t always immediate, so we can get lulled into thinking that maybe we got away with something. However, God’s Word does promise consequences of sin and they will come! Galatians 6:7 says that, “Whatsoever a man sows, that shall he also reap”. I heard one preacher say that “We reap what we sow, later than we sow, and more than we sow.” In this present culture, children have learned that most often they can get by with sin because they are often not called to account for their actions! How often do you hear a child being told to do something and threatened if he doesn’t comply and he just ignores his parent and continues on his own way? He gets another “warning” and continues to ignore and maybe another “warning” and finally the parent gives up and forgets the request and the consequence. When that sort of thing happens, that child learns that if he ignores his parent long enough, his parent will sooner or later just drop the whole thing and he, the child, is off the hook. In school, children are taught that they can have a number of chances to get something right and still receive the reward that was promised to the one who completed the assignment correctly the first time. In other words, children are taught that they never really have to give account and they will soon transfer all of this kind of thinking over into their view of God. The reason God said that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom is so that it would be a deterrent for us as we make decisions in our lives about things we should or should not do. Just as the strap behind my dad’s door was a reminder to me that I needed to obey my dad, God’s Word is our reminder that God has set the standards and we need to follow them! And it is not OUR choice! When we disobey, that is sin! (James 4:17) We desperately need to teach this concept to our kids in our homes as they WILL NOT learn it from the culture! And a healthy fear of God will give them great wisdom as they make the decisions that will come for them throughout their lives!

Have a great weekend and next week I will move on to some other material.

Lest We Forget the Lord

Deuteronomy 6:10-12 “…When the Lord thy God…give thee…houses full of all good things, which you did not fill, and wells digged that you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees that you did not plant; when you have eaten and are full; then beware lest you forget the Lord…!”

In these verses, which are a continuation of the topics we have been covering, God is warning the Israelites to be very careful of the consequences of coming into a land that was already established and ready to go without them having to work to make it that way. They would be coming into a land of plenty and God knew that that was dangerous enough for them that He warned them to “beware”!

If there has ever been a time in history when we need to beware of these same dangers, it is now and in the United States of America! I believe there is a real danger in this country for all of us to become lazy and very demanding and, yes, VERY soft! As we all know, we are very spoiled with things and variety of every kind from cereal to toys to shoes and on and on it goes! We allow our children to get caught up in this mindset because everyone else is there and it is easy to just get on board. Our children are bombarded on every side by things and stuff that they have in no way worked or paid for and it is so easy for them to become demanding and dependent on these things for their security, for their recreation, for their joy, etc. Does it surprise us that many young people from Christian homes are walking away from their faith and serving the ‘god of the stuff’? Does it surprise us that church has little or no relevance in their lives or that they are “forgetting the Lord”?

One of the most dangerous things in our culture, in my opinion, is all the ‘stuff’! I believe that it is part of the plan of the ‘god of this world’ to get all of us to be dependent on all that is in the world and get our eyes off the real meaning of life. He is not happy to just keep people from becoming born again, but he wants God’s people to have so much stuff that they are soft and not able to enjoy life without it! I believe there is going to be a day of reckoning for all of us here in this country and I wonder if we are going to be able to endure. Are we strong enough to stand and take our place on the Lord’s side should that day come in our lifetime? What about our children and grand children? Are they going to be able to stand for their faith? Will they even know what it is they are to stand for? I am not trying to be a doomsday person, but these are things I think we need to think about as we walk through this life.

I know it is very hard to live within this culture and not get caught up in all that is available. The first thing we need to do is to watch where we as the adults are with this problem. When you or I go to the store, do we determine whether to buy something by whether we can afford it or is the decision based on our need for such an item? Do we find ourselves being careless about such things as eating out just because we have the money? Are we more wasteful because we don’t need to be quite as careful as we used to be? I believe it is Larry Burkett who said something about finding the financial level at which you are comfortable and then stay there. In other words, don’t let your income level dictate how much you think you need. And, try to look at life through the eyes of your children. It is within your power to determine how your children look at their needs and wants. They should rarely receive things just because they ‘want’ it. Receiving gifts for birthdays or Christmas are the rare exceptions to this concept. Most often children should receive things that they need or things that are good for them to have. If they get into the habit of receiving things just because they want them, you are setting them up for a lot of difficulties down the road. (I will cover this topic in detail in a later discussion.) It is VERY good for children to have to earn and save up for some of the things they need or would like to have. Children need to learn the concept of working for things at an early age as it will give them a connection between work and having, and will build the beginning of a good work ethic, which is a Biblical concept, by the way!

It is my prayer that we can all get a handle on these issues and raise children and grandchildren who won’t forget the Lord! In this world, the last thing we need to do is to forget the One who is our source of everything we need to get through each day. Let’s set Godly examples in this area of wanting the ‘stuff’ and let’s pass on to our children the ability to live a Godly and contented life. Remember: “Godliness with contentment is great gain!” I Timothy 6:6

Help Your Children Remember

Deuteronomy 6:8&9 “And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thy hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.”

(I once again need to apologize for a lapse here, but my husband was on spring break and we took a few days away to be together and to see our family that lives in the Dayton area. We had a great time, but it is always good to get home.)

Last time I posted, it was concerning the mandates in the verses in Deuteronomy that precede these two verses. Now, I am not qualified to exposit about these passages, but I am just trying to share some of the principles concerning child-rearing that I have gleaned from this passage over the years of my experience in raising three children.

I see in these verses the command to the Israelites to post something in three different places. In order to accomplish that task, it is necessary to know what it is they were to post! If you look back to verse 6 of this chapter, you will see that it is “these words” which we talked about in the last entry. And if you look ahead one more verse, you will see that they have to do with our love for the Lord. So it is that they were told to bind these words for a sign on their hands, put them between their eyes and write them on the posts of their house and gates. That command was specific to those people, but I think that the principle applies to us today!

I don’t think that we need to figure out how to place anything between our eyes or on our hands, but I do think that we can place appropriate things around our homes that will remind our children and others that this is a place where God is remembered and honored. If you look around your home, will your children be reminded to “Love the Lord their God” or will they be encouraged to love the world and its system? Do they see reminders of God and His plan and expectations for them, or do they see all the “stuff” that reminds them of the saying, “He who dies with the most toys wins”?

What then are some ways of displaying a God-loving and God-honoring attitude in your home? Is there a place in your home where your family meets daily for the purpose of family devotions and prayer? I am wondering if there is a Bible or a devotional book on your breakfast table that reminds your children that this is where God’s Word is read each morning before your family leaves the house for the day in order to give everyone encouragement as they head out to face the things that come along as we face the world each and every morning. Is there a Bible story book that reminds them that this is how we end each day before we all head off to bed after a busy day? Are there books on your bookshelf that encourage your family to study the deeper truths of God’s Word? Is there good music available for your family from good Christian children’s music to quiet devotional music for the family? These are just some of the ways of “posting these words” on the door posts of your home. We will all have different ways of accomplishing this mandate, but the important thing is that you DO IT! Start small, but start with a plan. Decide today that you will do one thing to make your home a place where God is remembered and honored. Pick one of these ideas or think of one of your own, but get started today! If you think, “Sometime I will have to do that” it won’t happen! And remember, your children are growing every day and they will some day leave home and then it will be too late! You only get one chance to raise your children. You can’t get to the end and decide, “I guess I blew it that time! Let’s try this again!” So get started on some of these things and let’s raise children that remember and have as their goal to “Love the Lord ‘their’ God with all ‘their’ heart, and with all ‘their’ soul and with all ‘their’ might!”

Teach Your Children Diligently

Deuteronomy 6:5-7 “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. YOU SHALL TEACH THEM DILIGENTLY TO YOUR CHILDREN, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise up.”

There is a lot in these few short verses! I will not be going into the first verse about loving God with all of our heart, soul and strength! That is a major challenge in itself! That command is pretty clear and pretty much covers the manner in which we should live our lives! You know at least some of what you need to do in order to flesh that out, but I want to go on into what it means to teach our children diligently. What should we teach them and what are some specific things we can do to make sure this commandment gets followed in our homes? The thoughts in Deuteronomy 6 will be covered in two or three postings, so I will just be covering some thoughts about what needs to be taught and some practical ways to accomplish it.

According to Webster’s dictionary, the word ‘diligent’ means “to persevere with careful steady work”. This implies that teaching diligently isn’t something that can be accomplished in a very short time. It is my understanding that “teaching diligently” would take a lifetime. Now over the lifetime of our children from babyhood to adulthood, the style and content of the teaching would change, but it looks to me like it is an ongoing effort. There is no implication that there is a starting and an ending time.

So, what is it that we are to teach? Verse 6 says that we are to teach “these words which I command you today”. Then we look one verse ahead of that and we see in verse 5 the command to “love the Lord your God with all your heart…soul and ...strength.” So from this, I understand that we are to teach our children that God is to have first place in their lives! Well, as I have been thinking about this, I am not really sure that any of us really knows what that would look like, but I do know that most of us are not there and it is something that we need to work on VERY ‘diligently’!

So what are some practical and specific ways that we can accomplish this teaching? Verse7 tells us to “talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise up.” This pretty much encompasses the whole 24 hours in the day! I think this means that our Christian faith is pretty much a way of life and not something we put on and take off as we walk through our life! It means that when we are sitting in our homes, there should be reference to God and our Lord Jesus as if He were there in person. At first it may take effort to try to work conversation about God into your everyday household conversation, and you should take that effort to do it! For instance, when you are enjoying a fresh homemade cookie, talk about how thankful you are that God has provided us with stoves for baking good cookies. Talk about how wonderful it is that God made things grow so you could have the chocolate chips that are in the cookies! And of course, there is the usual prayer at the meals, but it needs to be more than that. When you are out walking (and you should be making time to be out walking with your children), talk about all the beauty and things that God has created. Probably one of the easiest things is to approach this idea by repeating all of the things for which you can be thankful. When you lie down is a good time to rehearse all of the wonders of the day and if the day wasn’t so wonderful, you can remember that God was there and gave strength for the day and how He has good plans for tomorrow. And of course, when you get up is a good time to pray and ask for God’s help and guidance for a new day! One big condition about all of this is that you need to be there in order to accomplish this. This will take time and it will take planning at first, but the rewards are eternal and well worth the effort!

Just one short thought to finish off for today is to remember that one of the main ways to accomplish this whole task is to live a good example of Godliness and thankfulness. As your children go from small children to being adults, it probably becomes more important than ever to live a Godly and thankful example. Adult children need you to show them how to live in the culture that is constantly changing. It is typical for your example to become more important while the words you speak become fewer.

Next time, I will continue this thought and cover some more in Deuteronomy 6. Trust you will have a great week and now I am off to make sure that I accomplish these things as I live my life before my adult children and my young grandchildren!

Prayer Requests for Thursday, April 3,2008

It is part of God’s plan in the world for Christians to pray for those who are in authority over us. I believe this also means that we need to pray for those who aspire to be in authority over us. So today, let’s remember these specific requests:

1. Pray for President Bush as he finishes up his term. Pray for safety for him and his family.

2. Pray that righteousness will prevail among those who are running and that any deceit will be exposed and be purged from the scene.

3. Pray for the safety of all the candidates as they are out among the people and becoming vulnerable to the public.

4. Pray that God’s people will acquire great discernment to know how to respond to the things that are confronted each day.

5. Pray that we, God’s people, will maintain the source of our joy and hope and display that to a world that is caught up in confusion.

Where is Our Hope?

This week is what is commonly referred to as Holy Week by the Christian culture. As we come to the celebration of the Resurrection of our Savior which we will be celebrating this Sunday, let’s do so with great hope and joy! This is the very reason we can sing and rejoice in spite of the things going on around us in our world and more specifically, our own United States of America.

I want to take a short time to just remind you of what this week is all about. And I want to remind you to be sure that your children understand the significance of this week to the best of their ability for their age. If they are learning from our culture, they will come to the conclusion that Easter is about bunnies, candy, eggs, clothes, etc. If they go to church, they will probably hear about the Resurrection, but will one hour in church erase all of the distractions that the culture places on this most significant day?

This is an opportunity for you as parents to point them to the Savior and away from the frivolities of the culture! That doesn’t mean that they will not hear the things that the culture would like them to focus on, but you can make a difference in their lives this week by making sure they know what we are celebrating!

One of the things you can do is to separate any celebrations you do related to eggs, candy, bunnies, etc. for this very special week. We can all remember how much fun it is to hide and find eggs and spring is truly something to be celebrated (especially if you live in Michigan where winter seems longer than any other season), but those things can be done prior to this week or after this week. We used to color eggs a week or two ahead of Easter and call them “spring eggs”. And the new clothes were just for spring and not necessarily special for Easter Sunday morning. If children are overwhelmed with eggs and candy and baskets and clothes on Easter Sunday morning, how will they learn that the real reason for the special Easter celebration is the Resurrection of our Savior? It is also helpful, if there is an opportunity, to take them to a Good Friday Service so they can get the whole picture of why Jesus came. It would be very meaningful to your young children to hear of the agony and suffering of the Savior and it will give you opportunities to explain some things at home over the whole Easter weekend!

Let’s be sure that our children are clear on the Resurrection events that mean so much to our faith and let’s make Easter Sunday morning a time of remembering what God has done for us in the death and Resurrection of His Son Jesus Christ.

“…And he (Pilate) said to the Jews, ‘Behold your King!’ But they cried out, ‘Away with Him, Away with Him! Crucify him!’ … And He, bearing His cross, went out to a place called ‘the Place of the Skull’, … where they crucified Him, …So when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, ‘It is finished!’ And bowing His head, He gave up His spirit. … Then they took the body of Jesus, and bound it in strips of linen with the spices (and laid Him in a new tomb). …Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene went to the tomb early…and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb.” (Excerpts are from John 19 & 20 – NKJV) “He is not here for He is risen as He said. Come see the place where the Lord lay.”
Matthew 28:6.

Here are a couple of recipes I would like to share with you. You may even want to try them as a part of your Easter dinner.

ESCALLOPED PINEAPPLE:
3 eggs
1 stick butter – melted
1 1/3 cup sugar
1 large can crushed pineapple
4 cups cubed day-old French bread

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Put bread cubes in a greased casserole dish. Mix eggs and sugar. Add melted butter and pineapple to egg mixture. Pour over bread and bake for about 45 minutes. Serve right out of the oven.

COCONUT CREAM PIE:
Crust: 1 cup flour
½ cup butter flavored shortening
2 Tablespoons cold water
Mix flour and shortening until it resembles coarse meal.
Add water and mix to form a ball.
Press into a 9-inch pie pan and bake for 9-10 minutes at 425 degrees.

Filling: ¾ cup sugar
¼ cup corn starch
Mix the above in a pan and add the following.
3 cups milk
3 egg yolks
Mix milk and yolks and add slowly to sugar mixture.
Cook this mixture over medium heat until it boils and thickens. Cook for one minute more stirring constantly.

Remove from heat and add: 1/2 cup of coconut
1 ½ tablespoons butter
1 tsp. vanilla
Pour warm filling into pie crust and top with meringue.

Meringue:
3 egg whites
3/8 teaspoon cream of tartar
Beat on high for one minute. Add:
6 tablespoons of sugar beating after each addition

Spread meringue over filling. Sprinkle with ¼ cup coconut.
Bake completed pie for 12-15 minutes at 350 degrees.
Cool before serving.

Have a very blessed Easter and next week we will get back to our focus on prayer and my plan to “stand in the gap” for our election.

Contented Children - Part II

Wow! I have been terribly busy for almost three weeks now, and I haven’t been able to find time to think about or write on my blog! I am hoping things will settle down now, so I am returning and will try to get back on track. We have had company, entertained grandchildren, visited our son in Dayton, been to the Dr. and dentist, etc.!

We started the topic of contentment last time and I would like to continue on that line today. Another important principle of teaching contentment to your children is to keep your home “low key”. Teach your children to enjoy the simple things of life. Make a big deal about things that you want them to enjoy like going for walks and picking flowers. Let them plant things in the garden and watch them grow. I learned very early on that my children would reflect me, so if I was happy, they were happy. If I was frustrated, they could soon be frustrated. The kids would enjoy the things that I enjoyed. Sometimes we underestimate how much we influence our children from a very early age. So, it is important for us as mothers to have responses that we desire our kids to have.

Since we are in the fall time of the year, we will soon be faced with several very different options of how to celebrate the “holidays” that are on the calendar. As I have come through the past several years of my life, it has become more and more important to me to celebrate Thanksgiving in a bigger way! Without getting into the moral or spiritual aspects of Halloween, may I just say that Halloween at best teaches those who participate in it a very selfish attitude about “getting”. There is a lot of greed involved in going around and asking for candy from everyone we can think of! Why not skip Halloween and move from fall to Thanksgiving. I mentioned in my last entry that teaching your children to be thankful is one good way to ward off discontent. So this will give you a very good way to teach this in a tangible way! After Labor Day is over we give it a couple of weeks and then we get out the Thanksgiving things and put out things that remind us of the blessings of God and how much we have for which to be thankful. I have noticed to my dismay that most stores skip right over Thanksgiving, so if you are taking your cues from them, you will miss Thanksgiving too. Thanksgiving doesn’t offer much in the way of revenue, so it is not on the calendar except as a “comma” between Halloween and Christmas which are the real money-makers.

Speaking of teaching your kids to be content, one thing you can do to encourage this is to teach them to serve others. It is good for them to see others who are in need so they realize they have some responsibility to minister to and share with them. Every fall in early October, I have my grandkids over to help me make cookies to distribute to some of the elderly and shut-ins that we know. So on October 2, I picked them up and they came over. I had cut out the cookies (maybe as they get a bit older, I will let them “help” me cut them out as well) in the shape of apples. Then as I frost them with red frosting and green leaves, the kids are responsible to put on some red sprinkles and red cinnamon candies. Then we pack plates and deliver them around town. This year we delivered ten plates in all. Of course there is the joy of the older people that delight in hugging the children or giving them a treat and when we get home, everyone can have a cookie with milk. It is a very special time for all of us and I just pray that this will be the beginning of teaching them to minister and give to people who are in need.
Children are not born being content. They are born with all kinds of needs and desires and the culture adds to that and soon we have children who are very self-centered and selfish. And there is no one thing you can teach them that will solve this problem. It takes a life time of teaching by example and helping them arrange their priorities. I have so many thoughts on this topic, but I pray that you can see the way to plant some seeds and I pray that you will see growth and fruit in your children and grandchildren.

Let's Raise Contented Children

Today is a new month and I am going to start a new topic! I have been dealing with some topics related to modesty and I am going to turn a corner today and share some thoughts about how to raise contented children. Just to justify the importance of this topic, you need to look up I Timothy 6:6: “Godliness with contentment is great gain.”
Contentment is a rare quality today, but it is one that can really make a difference in our whole life! In a culture where there are way too many choices for all of us, especially children, contentment is something we must learn or it won’t happen!

My daughter recently observed a party for children and she was very struck by the fact that the children were so outspoken about their likes and dislikes related to the food and other activities at the event. We need to remember that children learn by example and by teaching and when neither one is occurring properly, children will not pick up the qualities that they need in order to set them for a life characterized by contentment.

So how do we teach contentment? First of all, we need to model contentment for our children. If we are always trying to get and get and get more, then they will learn that is what life is all about. When we feel free to share openly about our likes and dislikes related to food or other basics of life, they will learn to share all the things they don’t like as well. I remember when our kids were young, we believed it was bad manners for children to come to the table, ours or anyone else’s, and talk about the food being or containing something they “don’t like”. In fact, we made a rule in our home that if someone complained about the food or asked what was in it so as to ascertain whether they would want to eat it, they would then have a slice of bread and a glass of water for that meal while the rest of us ate the meal along with the dessert. I think we only had to enforce that rule one time and it never happened again! It is also not wise for a mother to plan a meal that allows for each person to eat something different so that no one must eat anything that he doesn’t like. Food is only one small aspect of contentment, but it is an area where children think they can take control if they are allowed to get away with sharing their opinions.

Children can learn to try to control early if they are allowed to cry for things in the grocery store and see their desires met if they cry loud enough. If they know you are not going to spank or otherwise discipline them when you are out, they will learn very quickly that they can have anything they want in a grocery store. So how do you stop that in a climate where we don’t dare spank our kids in public? Well, as soon as the child tries that crying routine in the store, you very calmly explain to him that if he doesn’t stop that immediately, he will be punished when he arrives home. And then when he arrives home, you need to remember that promise you gave him and you need to carry through with something that he will NOT forget! (Spankings work well and I believe that is God’s punishment of choice.) You see, if a child receives an item in a store because he cries, he will learn by experience that he can get new toys, treats, etc. every time he goes to the store and you will begin to plant the seed of discontent in his heart because he can always have more if he can manipulate you by crying.
So the bottom line of the discussion today is that we as adults need to display the quality of contentment before our children if we expect them to learn how to be that way. We need to be thankful for the provisions of God and always be careful how we approach our meals at home and other places. There are some other principles that are important related to contentment, and we will continue on this topic in the next entry. As is often the case, I think that the basic approach to becoming content is to learn to be thankful!

Modesty - Part 1

I can’t write the date of September 7 without remembering that it was 34 years ago today that I became a mother! And what a wonderful ride it has been! Happy Birthday, Tim!

I told you last week that I was going to talk about modesty today, and I will. I briefly covered some things related to this topic on June 2 when I was covering Titus 2. However, since then I did some more extensive study on the topic and taught it in our church Ladies Bible Study, so I want to cover it more thoroughly now.

This is a topic about which I am VERY passionate, and I pray that I can pass some of that passion on to those who read this. I first of all want to remind all of us that God created the genders and He created marriage and the normal attraction between the genders. He created men to be visually stimulated and to be attracted to females in a physical way in order that His design for marriage and reproduction might be fulfilled. (Genesis 2:24 and Malachi 2:15) He created females to be responsive and very relational in order that they might be able to love their husbands and nurture the children that are God’s intended fruit of that marriage union. So, the fact that men respond to the sensual manner of dress among women that we see flaunted so brazenly in our culture, is not a surprise to God and it shouldn’t be a surprise to us. It should however, be a caution to us as women to be careful how we dress so as not to defraud our Christian brothers (or those outside the Body who don’t even know how to control the stimulation they receive from seeing such things). (Just a note here on what it means to defraud someone – It is like placing several bowls of fine chocolate around my house and then telling me that I can’t have any! When we “tease” our Brothers by what we wear, but then there is no way, either righteously or any other way they can act upon their desires, we are defrauding them!)

Now one thing that we need to make perfectly clear is that men are totally and solely responsible for any acts of immorality that they commit! Women, however, sin when they consciously or carelessly place temptation before men (defraud) so as to cause them to lust sinfully! (I Thessalonians 4:1-6)

I would like to mention a few comments I heard on a tape called “Not Even a Hint” by Joshua Harris. (If you think you are familiar with that name, I will remind you that he is the young man who wrote the book, “I Kissed Dating Good-Bye”.) I trust that these thoughts stated by him will help make the case for why this is such an important issue and why we as Christian women need to be educated on this topic. I fear that, though some flaunt their bodies knowingly before men, many are just plain not aware of or simply don’t care how this affects men or of the mandates in Scripture concerning this very important issue!

Here are the statements from the tape, and though maybe not verbatim, they are close to direct quotes:
1. “Modesty is about saving the delight of your body for ONE man, your husband.”
2. “Modesty is a matter of the Heart, Life, and Manner of dress.”
3. “God has given women a precious and powerful gift.”
4. “The purity God calls us to is a ‘gift’ for us.”
5. “Sin has infected and affected everything that God created.”
6. “Our culture encourages women to flaunt their sexuality! Fashion trends exploit sexuality and emphasize sexual parts of the body.”
7. “You are the only person on this planet who can protect your spouse sexually.”
8. Then Josh quoted Al Mohler (President of the Southern Baptist Convention): “Men are tempted to give themselves to pornography, while women are tempted to commit pornography.” (Josh Harris: “When women dress in such a way so as to arouse sexual desire in a man, they are committing pornography.”)

My heart desires to share this material in a straightforward manner so as to cause us to be aware of the problem and to build up a love and concern for our Christian brothers that will manifest itself in our desire to protect them in any way we can and help to build them up spiritually (Romans 15:1; Hebrews 10:24) and not break down their defenses. Please pray about your response to this and let’s search the Scripture to see how we can accomplish this goal. Next week I will give more specific guidelines and Scripture that will help us to grow in this very important area.

Training Your Children -- Part 3

I have one more lesson for now on training your children, and it maybe should have been the first lesson as the other principles will go better if this one is in place. This principle has to do with training and teaching your child’s heart. There is an excellent book that I would highly recommend that deals with this topic and it is called; “Shepherding a Child’s Heart”, by Tedd Tripp.

You know, when children are born, they SEEM very innocent and sweet! And to some extent they are in that they have not yet chosen rationally to commit evil. However, one thing we need to remember as Christians is that God’s Word says that “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child…” Proverbs 22:15. (And it isn’t long after birth that we start to see the beginnings of some very obvious sinful attitudes!) We are also aware that when children are born, we parents are quite a bit bigger than they are, so by sheer force we can for a time make them do what we want them to do if we work at it a little. However, it is not our job as parents to just make our children look like “little Christians” on the outside. We are to help God do His work of bringing them to the point of regeneration and we are to work on changing them from the inside out so that the changed behavior will have life-long ramifications. It is not enough to just cause children to do certain things because they are aware in their heads that this is what Mom and Dad want me to do. We somehow need to get it into their hearts so that they have a heart to do the right thing and do it for a lifetime.

So, how do we accomplish this task? The first thing we need to do is to realize that a child’s heart is evil and needs to be changed. Genesis 8: 21 says, “…the imagination of man’s heart is evil from his youth.” Our culture teaches that children are born pretty good and it is the environment that causes the evil that manifests itself in the lives of children. Once we realize and embrace the fact that our child’s heart is evil, we can then work to take care of that. If you look back at Proverbs 22:15, you see that the answer to the foolishness that is in the heart of a child is this: “…the rod of correction will drive it far from him.” Children need to learn that they are responsible for their behavior and that if they act in certain ways, there WILL be certain consequences. There are no quick fixes for the sin problem in children, but daily, consistent loving discipline including some physical punishment will send a message that God endorses since He is the One who authorized the concept of spanking, done in the proper way and with proper love and care.

Beyond the use of the “rod” to reach a child’s heart is the need for parents to be actively and emotionally and intimately involved in the life of their child. Children need your time ( not just the leftovers after you have worked and done all the things that are on your list of “necessary” activities). They need to see that you are willing to sacrifice some of your desires to meet their needs. You cannot reach their hearts with “stuff”. It isn’t a bad thing to give some meaningful things to your children, but don’t let that substitute for time and communication. You will get to know their hearts best by taking time each and every day to listen to them and give them some undivided attention. And nothing substitutes for a mother that is there every day meeting their needs in all areas; spiritual, emotional as well as physical.

Finally, I want to give one example to help you see what is meant by “shepherding \” their heart. Suppose you hear two of your children arguing over a toy and you go in to see what is going on. The first thing you would probably ask is: “Who had it first?” Well, that is probably how most of us would solve it as we are so focused in on what is “fair”. However, by the time you arrive on the scene, both children are probably displaying a very selfish attitude and it would be a good time to try to reach some hearts. They are both displaying an attitude that says, “I really don’t care how it affects my sibling, I want that toy and I want it more now that I know my sibling wants it!” So at this point, you have the opportunity to help the children understand selfishness and how we are taught in the Bible to “love one another” and to “be kind to one another”, etc. Now this may take some practice for you to get this kind of response into your daily acts of disciplining, but this is why it is so important for you to be there and be the one who deals with the daily activities in the lives of your children.

I pray that you will be able to reach the hearts of your children because if you teach and train them from the outside only, the changes will not be permanent. They will fall away when things get a bit tough and soon there will not be much left of the training you have worked to accomplish. Have a great week!

Training Your Children - Part 2

Wow!!! We have been on a whirlwind summer! It has been wonderful and fun, but so very busy!!! Last weekend we were able to have our annual family camping trip in Southern Indiana. Our whole family met there at the Mounds State Recreation Area and we camped for three wonderful days! On Friday we took our whole family to the new “Answers in Genesis” Museum and it was a wonderful experience! Even the little ones, age 3 and 5, enjoyed it and it kept their interest! It is well worth the trip to go and see it! If you have any questions about it, feel free to write to me and ask. It was a real encouragement to see the whole picture of Creation to the Cross and on to the coming events and see how everything fits! Take it in if you can!

Now I will continue the discussion on training your children. Last time I covered the topics of teaching and training your children. Some of what I go over today will give direction to those endeavors. The first topic I want to cover relates to correcting and disciplining them. Proverbs has many verses concerning correcting your children, but the first verse I want to mention is Proverbs 22:15 where it says, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him.” (There is NO room for any kind of child abuse here and there is NO suggestion that there be any kind of permanent damage done.) The idea behind this verse is that God knows that spanking is sometimes needful and usually a very effective form of discipline and He even created a place on the body of your children where He intends for that to take place! (Other verses for you to look up are Proverbs 13:24; 19:18; 23:13; 29:17) Punishment should never take place just because your children embarrassed or frustrated you, but because of an offense to God! Childishness should not be punished unless it is a result of disobedience or some other offense to God or if it is something that could bring harm to themselves or others. And children should always know why they are being punished! And of course, all punishment should be given lovingly and consistently.


The next responsibility I will discuss is for you to cherish your children. I believe this has somewhat of a different connotation than loving your children. In I John 2, I was noticing that several times, John used the endearing term, “My little children”. That sounded like a term that meant he really cared for and cherished them! Your children need to know that they are VERY loved and taken care of! However you communicate to them, there should be times when you speak lovingly and just very tenderly to them of your love and their value to you. Following close behind that idea as the fact that one way you can demonstrate how much you cherish them is to listen and pay close attention when they speak to you! (Proverbs 27:23 and 29:15) And you need to know each child well enough to know when and where is their favorite place of communicating with you. You need to look at them when they are talking with you so that they can feel the security of knowing that they have your full attention. Don’t let the phone or anything else disrupt that time. You need to set aside all other things at some point each and every day to listen to your children. And if at all possible, be there when your children come home from school or other major activities in their lives. If they do their “talking” with the baby sitter, you may never hear what is going on in their lives and find out the things that are important to them. It is such a heartache when I hear parents say something of this nature; “My child was on drugs while he was living in my home and I didn’t know it!” That shouldn’t happen if you are accomplishing Biblical parenting.

Next week I will continue on this thought and suggest some thoughts concerning getting to know and understand and shepherding your child’s heart. Have a great week and I think I am home for the duration now, so there shouldn’t be as many interruptions.

Training Your Children

I am back from a wonderful vacation! God blessed us and we enjoyed 12 wonderful days away. We went to Upstate New York and camped on the St. Lawrence Seaway. I watched ships going back and forth on the Seaway from our campsite whenever we were at our campground and it was just a very relaxing time. We came across Canada on the way back to Michigan and the most stressful time of the trip occurred on that trip back! It took us almost two hours to go over the bridge and go through customs to get back into Michigan and we were riding on an almost empty gas tank (the beeper had already sounded telling us of our plight)! We were sitting on the top of the bridge over the mouth of Lake Huron praying and praying that we would not run out of gas and have to call for road service in the midst of the busy traffic trying to go across the bridge! God blessed and when we reached the other side, the gas gauge actually looked like there was more gas than when we started across! We were so thankful for that reminder that God loves and cares for every detail of our lives!

For the next few entries, I will be sharing some thoughts that relate to the Ladies’ Bible Study I am teaching at our church this summer. The lesson I am working on right now deals with teaching and training your children. So there will be at least one entry related to that and then there will be a lesson or two on modesty. I am teaching the Bible study from a book by Elizabeth George entitled, “God’s Wisdom for a Woman’s Life”. (If any of you are ever looking for good Bible Study books for women, I highly recommend Elizabeth George as a very good source of Biblically based books written for women!)

There are many principles in the Word of God which give us guidance in child rearing. Many of them are found in the book of Proverbs. I would like to start with the principle of teaching your children. First of all, it is a good idea for you to assume that your children will not be taught anything anywhere else. Now this is probably not true, but if you assume your children are learning God’s truth in church or Sunday School or any other place, it may make you a bit lax and you may not cover topics that your children need to know! Approach the task of teaching your children as if you and your husband (or you by yourself) are the only ones who are doing this very important job! I have already alluded to Deuteronomy 6:6&7 a number of times on this blog, but let me add Proverbs 1:8 where it instructs a son to “hear the instruction” of his father and to “forsake not the law” of his mother. There are many more references to the teaching responsibility of the parent to the child in the book of Proverbs, but suffice it to say that you come away from reading that book with the thought that maybe that is the most important responsibility of a parent to his child! And of course, along with teaching is the job of training. They are kind of related to each other, but I believe that teaching gets God’s laws into the mind of your child and training gets the truth into their hearts and helps them to know how to behave based on those principles and truths. Now, I have heard many people, after the fact, say that Proverbs 22:6 cannot be taken literally because after all you never know what your child will do after he is out from under your care. And it is true that you don’t know what he will do after he leaves your home, but we need to dedicate ourselves to teaching and training them no matter the cost simply because God told us to! We don’t want to have to look back over our time with our children after they leave and see time after time when we put something else of our own desires ahead of our teaching and training our kids! Remember: You only get one chance to raise your children and we want to do it right the first time. After all, people are the ONLY thing we can take to Heaven with us and who would we want to bring to Heaven more than our own children! Next time I will talk about correcting your children, disciplining them, giving them your time, and several other topics related to your children. Many of these topics help us to do the training that we are instructed to do. Trust you are enjoying a great week and we will “talk” again soon!

Teach the Young Women to be Obedient to Their Own Husbands

This is a very “new and unique” topic in this present culture! However, it is not unique to God who created male and female and established the rules of how marriage was intended to be!

First of all, notice that it says to be “obedient to their OWN husbands”. This takes us back to our earlier discussion concerning whether women should place themselves under the authority of men who are not their “own” husband in the work place. It is particularly crucial if the other man is going to be requiring time and allegiance that belongs only to your husband. I believe that this gives credence to my earlier statement that women ought to consider this before they take a job outside the home and avoid this circumstance if at all possible!

Now we get to the topic of obedience. This is a bit hard to describe as we live in a culture where these role issues are very distorted and we don’t have a good picture of what this means. Basically, God meant for the relationship between husband and wife to be one big picture, but sin entered in and everything went haywire! God meant for the husband to love his wife as Christ loves the Church and gave Himself for her (Ephesians 5:25). With that in mind, God gave women the responsibility to submit (obey) to the leadership of her husband (Ephesians 5: 22 and Titus 2:5). However, most husbands don’t know what it means to really love their wives as Christ loves the Church and that makes it very difficult for a wife to submit to her husband. Some husbands think that to obey means that he rules and she is his door mat. Husbands in this culture aren’t being encouraged to be the loving Spiritual leaders of their wives, so in some cases the wife must make her own way and the family submits to her. There are so many issues here, and I am not prepared to confront them all, but I do want to speak to women and I pray that God will use this lesson in your life in whatever circumstance you might find yourself.

Basically, I believe that God designed marriage and that He knows how it works best. He knows that someone must be in charge and someone must follow. He gave it to the husband to be the leader and the wife is to follow. His intention was for the husband to love his wife and lead her in a loving and gentle way and for the wife to respond with loving submission. When sin came into the world, things changed drastically and mankind has never recovered. However, God repeated His design for marriage in the New Testament and it is to be our lifelong desire and goal to obey His desires in this area. God used the example of a marriage relationship as His picture to the world of how much He loves the Church and gave His Son for the Church (Ephesians 5:25). It is therefore VERY important for us as Christians to present to the world an undistorted picture of marriage where the husband loves his wife and she lovingly submits for a lifetime.

As none of us is perfect, we must daily make course corrections in order to keep the picture pure. If we have a husband who is not fulfilling his part of the plan, we must pick up the slack and do the best we can to still respond in a Godly manner. God does not let us off the hook at that point, but He tells us to stay with our husband and do everything we can to win him for the Lord. So, if you have a Godly husband who loves you in a Christ-like way, praise the Lord and do everything you can to keep him happy and to submit to him in a loving manner. If you don’t have a husband who is loving you as Christ loved the Church, then lovingly submit to him anyway and pray for him and do everything you can do to let him see the love of God in you! Remember: You can only control your own attitude and that is your responsibility! God is at work and He will do the work that needs to be done in your husband and He may very well use you to help accomplish that, so be sure you are up to and ready for that task!

I will be away from the computer for a couple of weeks now, so I pray that you are all having a great summer! When I get back, I will start a new series as this pretty well finishes Titus 2. “Talk” to you soon!

Teach Young Women to be Keepers at Home

Part I

Well, we are back home after a wonderful time in Minnesota. Our kids gave my husband and me a little “get away” to Minnesota for our 60th birthdays which are both this year. They planned a B & B for us along with some fun eating, dinner train, riverboat lunch, and even some spending money! We were very touched and thankful for their love and the way they ministered to our hearts!

Now we are back to the subject at hand. The verse is Titus 2:5 which tells the older women to “teach the younger women to be … keepers at home”. I am very passionate about this topic. I was listening to a message by John MacArthur on this topic once and he said, “What does it mean that women are to be keepers at home? It means that women are to be keepers at home!” It is pretty hard to misinterpret this one. I believe that there are several reasons why God encouraged women to be “keepers at home”. I will cover some today and the rest next week.

I do not think that there is a huge problem with women earning money. I do not believe that this is the reason for this teaching. After all, Lydia was a seller of purple and we know other women in Scripture who had opportunities to make money. I do believe, however, that if a woman is going find a way to earn some money, she needs to be very careful where she finds that opportunity.

Now I know that there are extenuating circumstances and different conditions in our culture that require some women to be out in the work force, but I also know that many women are in the work force for many other reasons which do not fall into the category of need! Now let me preface this with a thought that I think is Biblical and that is that I believe this is mainly speaking to younger women who have children growing up in their home. I think it is necessary for obvious reasons for single women to be out working and I think that if an older woman has a job where she can be used openly to promote God’s Kingdom, then these cases fall into a different category. Even in these cases, however, I think this should be approached with a great amount of discernment since we live in a culture where we need to always be on our toes because the prince of this world is always on the prowl for the purpose of destroying homes and families.

For instance, we live in a society where people in the work place think nothing of making relationships with people who are not their spouses and they get fooled into thinking that going out to lunch or having a cup of coffee with another woman’s husband is a very innocent event. Besides the consideration of the children in the home, (which I think I will consider next week as a specific topic) the opportunity for contact with the spouses of other people is one of the other main reasons that I think that God wrote what He did to women. Our eyes should be opened to this danger as we are hearing quite regularly about people who fall into sinful situations with people at work or in other situations where men and women spend a lot of time together. I don’t believe this mandate of women keeping the home only applies to work opportunities. There are many other ways this contact can occur if a woman is out and about too much away from her husband and vice versa. Now do you see why this topic relates to the one about being “chaste”? So, I believe that one good reason God told women to be “Keepers at home” was to preserve our marriages! He knows our sinful natures and He knew what would happen if men and women work 8 hours a day, five days a week in the same office! He knows how easy it is to look to someone else to meet our needs if we perceive that our needs aren’t being met by our spouses! This admonition is for all ladies, even those who are single and those who have raised their children. Be on guard at all times if you are working or otherwise spending time with the husbands of other women.

And if at all possible, don’t be out there at all! Don’t work just so you can have more “stuff” or because you think you are bored at home! This brings up another reason I believe that God told women to “Be keepers at home”. He has given women many ministries within and outside the Church (besides raising children) and many of them are not getting done because so many women have put “things” ahead of people. I have been home for 34 years and I can honestly say that I have never lacked for good things to do. The opportunities for ministry are endless and we just need to respond to God’s guidelines in Scripture and be available to Him and He will keep us busy!
Next week, I will revisit this topic of being a “keeper at home”. There are, of course, issues related to raising children and possibly being under the authority of a man who isn’t your husband. Have a great week and I am keeping you all in prayer.

Teach the Young Women to be Chaste - Titus 2:5

Wow! This is a monumental task in the culture in which we live! I am afraid I am going to be brutally honest on this one, Ladies! My children used to use the phrase, “Tell us what you REALLY think, Mom!” I think that you may concur with their assessment by the time I am finished with this one!

I am not sure if there is a misunderstanding of the meaning of the word “chaste” or what it is, but from looking around, it appears that women are really drawing a disconnect on this one! The word “chaste” (again according to Webster) means “not indulging in unlawful sexual activity; virtuous; modest: said especially of women, etc.; implies moral excellence; etc. applied in behavior, dress, speech as exhibiting purity.” Another verse that applies to this topic is in I Timothy 2: 9 where it says that women are to adorn themselves in “modest apparel”.

Most of us probably feel pretty good about the fact that we are not engaging in “unlawful sexual activity” and that is good, but there is so much more to the meaning of the word “chaste” and I would like to get very honest and personal in my teaching on this topic. Ladies, the only man we are Biblically allowed to try to attract is our husband! That means that when we dress in a way so as to attract anyone else, we are out of line with Scripture! You may think that you do not dress in order to attract anyone else, but may I remind you that God wired men so as to be attracted by what they see, and if we let them see more of us than God planned, we are committing an act of carelessness that is a sin against them by causing them to think on something that may cause sin in their life. I know the answer that some of you will respond with and that is “if they have a problem with what I wear, then it is their problem and not mine.” And they ARE responsible before God to guard their own minds, but as their Christian sisters, do we love them enough to be willing to give up our desires in order to help protect them? Our Christian brothers are bombarded on every side by sights that can cause them to lust in their hearts and many of them are trying very hard to avoid that sin, but it is a constant battle for them! I have heard some say that they wish that coming to church would be a safe haven for them and a place where they can relax from the battle and it is so disconcerting to them that they have to face the same struggles at church that they face at the mall.

May I be specific with some of the things that I am talking about? Today, Ladies, most clothing for women is just plain too low cut! I know, as I must shop in the same stores where you all shop! I know I have heard some women say that they can’t find anything else. Well, there are ways around that! When we raised our two girls, I had to get out my sewing machine more than once to sew something that was more modest than what we were able to find in the stores. It is particularly difficult through the early and late teen years. Another option is to just look through racks and racks of things and you will always find something that fits your need! You may not have as much choice as you like, but God has promised to supply our needs and He has ALWAYS more than supplied the needs of the ladies in our family! Another problem is that many clothes are designed so as to draw a person’s eyes to the wrong part of your body. Now, this is just my own personal opinion, but I believe that when a man looks at a woman, his eyes should be drawn to her face. Her demeanor and countenance should be such that she has a pleasant look on her face, and her clothing, or lack thereof, should not detract from her face! If your clothes are too low, too short, too tight, too sheer, or too “anything”, that will distract from the beauty of your face which should reflect your joy, your Godliness and your love for your Lord.

To sum it up, let’s pretend that we are going to a party where Jesus Christ is the guest of honor. How would you want to look when you are introduced to our Savior? Would you be ashamed if you were wearing some of the things that are in your closet? Would your hand immediately go across your chest to cover something that you wouldn’t want Him to see?

I am going to be away from my computer for a week or so, so I won’t be getting back to the next topic for a short time here. The next topic will relate to being a “keeper at home” and believe it or not, I believe that that topic actually relates to the one I just covered. Trust you are enjoying your summer and I look forward to sharing with you again soon! Please feel free to leave some input on this topic or any other topic! I would love to hear from you!