It has been a while again since I have written on the topics that were before me, but I have been working on a prayer ministry for the election. Now that that is over, we need to certainly continue to pray for those elected, but I will be going back to my other concerns related to teaching our children.
I have been doing a series on “Train up a child in the way he should go…” and was discussing some of the qualities we want to be sure to train into our children before they leave our homes. With Thanksgiving upon us, I want to take some time to discuss how to teach children to be thankful.
Now, teaching them to say “Please” and “Thank you” is a noble effort and a good start, but what I am really speaking of is training their hearts to be genuinely thankful. The Bible teaches us that being thankful should accompany our requests when we pray (Philippians 4:6). So how do we train the hearts of our children so that this attitude of thankfulness comes from within?
First of all, assume they will get no teaching on this topic from the culture! Then if they do get a little encouragement along this line, that will be a bonus. Just don’t assume your job is easier because it is taught somewhere else. Our culture, and hence most children, is a very ungrateful place in which to grow up! We have a very self-centered society and that makes our job more difficult and not less difficult. The culture is teaching children that they are owed certain things and if they don’t get them, they should exercise their “rights” in order to rectify the situation.
Secondly, let them see you displaying a thankful heart! Let them hear you thanking the Lord and praising God for the gifts we receive from Him each and every day. Let them hear us praise God for the provisions we enjoy even if it isn’t as we would have planned. Thank Him for the food that was given and eat it even if it isn’t your favorite. Be thankful for the hand-me-downs or sale items even if you might have chosen something else if you had the choice. Thank Him for the illness or the snowy weather that interfered with your outing. Children need to see this characteristic modeled and the most effective people to do that for them are their parents.
One more real practical way to teach your children to be thankful is to not allow them to complain about the things God has provided. Of main concern on this topic is in the area of food. Children should come to the table with a thankful heart for whatever their mother has prepared for them. If they complain and it is not tolerated, this will go a long way in getting that teaching into their hearts and you will have won a major victory in what is a lifetime battle. If you desire to see a very practical approach to this issue, check out the October 1, 2007, entry in my blog where there is a detailed description of how to approach this problem in children.
Teach your children to share with others who are less blessed. Let them be a blessing and learn the joy of giving to someone who has less than they do. Sometimes, (due to government programs and maybe where we live) it is hard to find a family who has less than we do in material items, but there are various organizations and ministries who can help along that line. For instance, there is Samaritans Purse and others who will take your money and buy Bibles or other items to distribute in countries where owning a Bible is a very special privilege. Let your children actually work to earn some money so they can feel the joy of actually giving something for which they have worked! As we come through this wonderful time of Thanksgiving and Christmas, I will be sharing some of the traditions we have started for our grandchildren with the hope of supporting their parents in their efforts to train the hearts of their children in this area.
One of the best ways to evaluate where your children are in this process of learning to be thankful is to watch and see how generous they want to be with their own things. As parents, it is imperative for you to allow them to be generous even if it seems somewhat careless to you. You need to help them give with a joyful heart and help them work through the level of giving that is appropriate for them. But above all, don’t discourage them or belittle their desire. This is a true sign that they are not thinking totally about themselves and have attained a certain level of contentment with their own level of “things”.
There are a lot of other nuances that surface in a discussion of this nature, but suffice it to say that no one is ever perfect at this. It is a growing process and goes on for a lifetime. Let your children know that you are still growing in this area and it is something you can work at together. Let them see that you have this quality of being thankful as one of your goals for your life, and then let them see you working on it even after they leave your home.
Next week, I will take a break from the normal entries and I will pass on some of our favorite Thanksgiving and Christmas recipes.
Showing posts with label Thanksgiving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thanksgiving. Show all posts
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Friday, October 19, 2007
Contented Children - Part II
Wow! I have been terribly busy for almost three weeks now, and I haven’t been able to find time to think about or write on my blog! I am hoping things will settle down now, so I am returning and will try to get back on track. We have had company, entertained grandchildren, visited our son in Dayton, been to the Dr. and dentist, etc.!
We started the topic of contentment last time and I would like to continue on that line today. Another important principle of teaching contentment to your children is to keep your home “low key”. Teach your children to enjoy the simple things of life. Make a big deal about things that you want them to enjoy like going for walks and picking flowers. Let them plant things in the garden and watch them grow. I learned very early on that my children would reflect me, so if I was happy, they were happy. If I was frustrated, they could soon be frustrated. The kids would enjoy the things that I enjoyed. Sometimes we underestimate how much we influence our children from a very early age. So, it is important for us as mothers to have responses that we desire our kids to have.
Since we are in the fall time of the year, we will soon be faced with several very different options of how to celebrate the “holidays” that are on the calendar. As I have come through the past several years of my life, it has become more and more important to me to celebrate Thanksgiving in a bigger way! Without getting into the moral or spiritual aspects of Halloween, may I just say that Halloween at best teaches those who participate in it a very selfish attitude about “getting”. There is a lot of greed involved in going around and asking for candy from everyone we can think of! Why not skip Halloween and move from fall to Thanksgiving. I mentioned in my last entry that teaching your children to be thankful is one good way to ward off discontent. So this will give you a very good way to teach this in a tangible way! After Labor Day is over we give it a couple of weeks and then we get out the Thanksgiving things and put out things that remind us of the blessings of God and how much we have for which to be thankful. I have noticed to my dismay that most stores skip right over Thanksgiving, so if you are taking your cues from them, you will miss Thanksgiving too. Thanksgiving doesn’t offer much in the way of revenue, so it is not on the calendar except as a “comma” between Halloween and Christmas which are the real money-makers.
Speaking of teaching your kids to be content, one thing you can do to encourage this is to teach them to serve others. It is good for them to see others who are in need so they realize they have some responsibility to minister to and share with them. Every fall in early October, I have my grandkids over to help me make cookies to distribute to some of the elderly and shut-ins that we know. So on October 2, I picked them up and they came over. I had cut out the cookies (maybe as they get a bit older, I will let them “help” me cut them out as well) in the shape of apples. Then as I frost them with red frosting and green leaves, the kids are responsible to put on some red sprinkles and red cinnamon candies. Then we pack plates and deliver them around town. This year we delivered ten plates in all. Of course there is the joy of the older people that delight in hugging the children or giving them a treat and when we get home, everyone can have a cookie with milk. It is a very special time for all of us and I just pray that this will be the beginning of teaching them to minister and give to people who are in need.
Children are not born being content. They are born with all kinds of needs and desires and the culture adds to that and soon we have children who are very self-centered and selfish. And there is no one thing you can teach them that will solve this problem. It takes a life time of teaching by example and helping them arrange their priorities. I have so many thoughts on this topic, but I pray that you can see the way to plant some seeds and I pray that you will see growth and fruit in your children and grandchildren.
We started the topic of contentment last time and I would like to continue on that line today. Another important principle of teaching contentment to your children is to keep your home “low key”. Teach your children to enjoy the simple things of life. Make a big deal about things that you want them to enjoy like going for walks and picking flowers. Let them plant things in the garden and watch them grow. I learned very early on that my children would reflect me, so if I was happy, they were happy. If I was frustrated, they could soon be frustrated. The kids would enjoy the things that I enjoyed. Sometimes we underestimate how much we influence our children from a very early age. So, it is important for us as mothers to have responses that we desire our kids to have.
Since we are in the fall time of the year, we will soon be faced with several very different options of how to celebrate the “holidays” that are on the calendar. As I have come through the past several years of my life, it has become more and more important to me to celebrate Thanksgiving in a bigger way! Without getting into the moral or spiritual aspects of Halloween, may I just say that Halloween at best teaches those who participate in it a very selfish attitude about “getting”. There is a lot of greed involved in going around and asking for candy from everyone we can think of! Why not skip Halloween and move from fall to Thanksgiving. I mentioned in my last entry that teaching your children to be thankful is one good way to ward off discontent. So this will give you a very good way to teach this in a tangible way! After Labor Day is over we give it a couple of weeks and then we get out the Thanksgiving things and put out things that remind us of the blessings of God and how much we have for which to be thankful. I have noticed to my dismay that most stores skip right over Thanksgiving, so if you are taking your cues from them, you will miss Thanksgiving too. Thanksgiving doesn’t offer much in the way of revenue, so it is not on the calendar except as a “comma” between Halloween and Christmas which are the real money-makers.
Speaking of teaching your kids to be content, one thing you can do to encourage this is to teach them to serve others. It is good for them to see others who are in need so they realize they have some responsibility to minister to and share with them. Every fall in early October, I have my grandkids over to help me make cookies to distribute to some of the elderly and shut-ins that we know. So on October 2, I picked them up and they came over. I had cut out the cookies (maybe as they get a bit older, I will let them “help” me cut them out as well) in the shape of apples. Then as I frost them with red frosting and green leaves, the kids are responsible to put on some red sprinkles and red cinnamon candies. Then we pack plates and deliver them around town. This year we delivered ten plates in all. Of course there is the joy of the older people that delight in hugging the children or giving them a treat and when we get home, everyone can have a cookie with milk. It is a very special time for all of us and I just pray that this will be the beginning of teaching them to minister and give to people who are in need.
Children are not born being content. They are born with all kinds of needs and desires and the culture adds to that and soon we have children who are very self-centered and selfish. And there is no one thing you can teach them that will solve this problem. It takes a life time of teaching by example and helping them arrange their priorities. I have so many thoughts on this topic, but I pray that you can see the way to plant some seeds and I pray that you will see growth and fruit in your children and grandchildren.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)