Cultivating A Thankful Heart In Your Children

It has been a while again since I have written on the topics that were before me, but I have been working on a prayer ministry for the election. Now that that is over, we need to certainly continue to pray for those elected, but I will be going back to my other concerns related to teaching our children.

I have been doing a series on “Train up a child in the way he should go…” and was discussing some of the qualities we want to be sure to train into our children before they leave our homes. With Thanksgiving upon us, I want to take some time to discuss how to teach children to be thankful.

Now, teaching them to say “Please” and “Thank you” is a noble effort and a good start, but what I am really speaking of is training their hearts to be genuinely thankful. The Bible teaches us that being thankful should accompany our requests when we pray (Philippians 4:6). So how do we train the hearts of our children so that this attitude of thankfulness comes from within?

First of all, assume they will get no teaching on this topic from the culture! Then if they do get a little encouragement along this line, that will be a bonus. Just don’t assume your job is easier because it is taught somewhere else. Our culture, and hence most children, is a very ungrateful place in which to grow up! We have a very self-centered society and that makes our job more difficult and not less difficult. The culture is teaching children that they are owed certain things and if they don’t get them, they should exercise their “rights” in order to rectify the situation.

Secondly, let them see you displaying a thankful heart! Let them hear you thanking the Lord and praising God for the gifts we receive from Him each and every day. Let them hear us praise God for the provisions we enjoy even if it isn’t as we would have planned. Thank Him for the food that was given and eat it even if it isn’t your favorite. Be thankful for the hand-me-downs or sale items even if you might have chosen something else if you had the choice. Thank Him for the illness or the snowy weather that interfered with your outing. Children need to see this characteristic modeled and the most effective people to do that for them are their parents.

One more real practical way to teach your children to be thankful is to not allow them to complain about the things God has provided. Of main concern on this topic is in the area of food. Children should come to the table with a thankful heart for whatever their mother has prepared for them. If they complain and it is not tolerated, this will go a long way in getting that teaching into their hearts and you will have won a major victory in what is a lifetime battle. If you desire to see a very practical approach to this issue, check out the October 1, 2007, entry in my blog where there is a detailed description of how to approach this problem in children.

Teach your children to share with others who are less blessed. Let them be a blessing and learn the joy of giving to someone who has less than they do. Sometimes, (due to government programs and maybe where we live) it is hard to find a family who has less than we do in material items, but there are various organizations and ministries who can help along that line. For instance, there is Samaritans Purse and others who will take your money and buy Bibles or other items to distribute in countries where owning a Bible is a very special privilege. Let your children actually work to earn some money so they can feel the joy of actually giving something for which they have worked! As we come through this wonderful time of Thanksgiving and Christmas, I will be sharing some of the traditions we have started for our grandchildren with the hope of supporting their parents in their efforts to train the hearts of their children in this area.

One of the best ways to evaluate where your children are in this process of learning to be thankful is to watch and see how generous they want to be with their own things. As parents, it is imperative for you to allow them to be generous even if it seems somewhat careless to you. You need to help them give with a joyful heart and help them work through the level of giving that is appropriate for them. But above all, don’t discourage them or belittle their desire. This is a true sign that they are not thinking totally about themselves and have attained a certain level of contentment with their own level of “things”.

There are a lot of other nuances that surface in a discussion of this nature, but suffice it to say that no one is ever perfect at this. It is a growing process and goes on for a lifetime. Let your children know that you are still growing in this area and it is something you can work at together. Let them see that you have this quality of being thankful as one of your goals for your life, and then let them see you working on it even after they leave your home.

Next week, I will take a break from the normal entries and I will pass on some of our favorite Thanksgiving and Christmas recipes.