This is a very “new and unique” topic in this present culture! However, it is not unique to God who created male and female and established the rules of how marriage was intended to be!
First of all, notice that it says to be “obedient to their OWN husbands”. This takes us back to our earlier discussion concerning whether women should place themselves under the authority of men who are not their “own” husband in the work place. It is particularly crucial if the other man is going to be requiring time and allegiance that belongs only to your husband. I believe that this gives credence to my earlier statement that women ought to consider this before they take a job outside the home and avoid this circumstance if at all possible!
Now we get to the topic of obedience. This is a bit hard to describe as we live in a culture where these role issues are very distorted and we don’t have a good picture of what this means. Basically, God meant for the relationship between husband and wife to be one big picture, but sin entered in and everything went haywire! God meant for the husband to love his wife as Christ loves the Church and gave Himself for her (Ephesians 5:25). With that in mind, God gave women the responsibility to submit (obey) to the leadership of her husband (Ephesians 5: 22 and Titus 2:5). However, most husbands don’t know what it means to really love their wives as Christ loves the Church and that makes it very difficult for a wife to submit to her husband. Some husbands think that to obey means that he rules and she is his door mat. Husbands in this culture aren’t being encouraged to be the loving Spiritual leaders of their wives, so in some cases the wife must make her own way and the family submits to her. There are so many issues here, and I am not prepared to confront them all, but I do want to speak to women and I pray that God will use this lesson in your life in whatever circumstance you might find yourself.
Basically, I believe that God designed marriage and that He knows how it works best. He knows that someone must be in charge and someone must follow. He gave it to the husband to be the leader and the wife is to follow. His intention was for the husband to love his wife and lead her in a loving and gentle way and for the wife to respond with loving submission. When sin came into the world, things changed drastically and mankind has never recovered. However, God repeated His design for marriage in the New Testament and it is to be our lifelong desire and goal to obey His desires in this area. God used the example of a marriage relationship as His picture to the world of how much He loves the Church and gave His Son for the Church (Ephesians 5:25). It is therefore VERY important for us as Christians to present to the world an undistorted picture of marriage where the husband loves his wife and she lovingly submits for a lifetime.
As none of us is perfect, we must daily make course corrections in order to keep the picture pure. If we have a husband who is not fulfilling his part of the plan, we must pick up the slack and do the best we can to still respond in a Godly manner. God does not let us off the hook at that point, but He tells us to stay with our husband and do everything we can to win him for the Lord. So, if you have a Godly husband who loves you in a Christ-like way, praise the Lord and do everything you can to keep him happy and to submit to him in a loving manner. If you don’t have a husband who is loving you as Christ loved the Church, then lovingly submit to him anyway and pray for him and do everything you can do to let him see the love of God in you! Remember: You can only control your own attitude and that is your responsibility! God is at work and He will do the work that needs to be done in your husband and He may very well use you to help accomplish that, so be sure you are up to and ready for that task!
I will be away from the computer for a couple of weeks now, so I pray that you are all having a great summer! When I get back, I will start a new series as this pretty well finishes Titus 2. “Talk” to you soon!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Teach the Young Women to be Good
At first glance, this quality seems to be pretty obvious, but I do think there are some thoughts that bear reviewing even on this character.
We live in a world, where there are really a lot of “good people”. So there must be some things which distinguish this kind of “good” from that which we see in the world around us. In my understanding, I believe that a lot of those distinguishing qualities have to do with the motives which drive our desire to be “good”. As Christian ladies, our desire to be “good” should be motivated by our love for and our desire to please the Lord. And I believe that should in some way be clear to those who know us.
There are many areas of life in which we women should be “good” and I believe the first one is in the area of our homes. In Proverbs 31:12, we read, “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” This refers to the way she treats her husband. We have already discussed some of the ways we can love our husbands, so I won’t go into a whole new discussion of that. But we just need to remember that our husband is a gift from God and no matter how much good we receive from him or how deserving we think he is, we are to be good to our husband. This means that we will spend our life seeking to enhance the ministry God has given him and helping him to achieve his potential before God. Remember, God created the woman “for” the man (Genesis 2:18), so this is our primary responsibility in life! We also need to be good to our children. This doesn’t mean giving them everything they desire, but nourishing and cherishing them and teaching them the things of God.
Then there is the area of everyone else around us. We as ladies are to be seeking to help those in need. Again, in Proverbs 31, though it is obvious that her main ministry was to her family, in verse 20 we read that, “She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.” If this is to be different from every other charity group in the community we need to strive to have a different motive and a different message than the rest of them. Those to whom we minister need to know that our motivation is to please God and carry out the ministry that He has given us to do. In other words, with our giving of good things needs to be a message of hope and salvation that is different from the others,
And finally, I think that the meaning of “good” in this passage has to do with a general life style and pattern to promote goodness in every area of our lives. It should influence the way we talk to our children and our husband, the way we interact with everyone around us, the general atmosphere that is evident in our homes when strangers come by and just the wonderful way that others can see Jesus living in our lives and affecting even how we look!
I trust this will give you a little insight into what it means for a Christian lady to be “good” in the Biblical sense of that word.
We live in a world, where there are really a lot of “good people”. So there must be some things which distinguish this kind of “good” from that which we see in the world around us. In my understanding, I believe that a lot of those distinguishing qualities have to do with the motives which drive our desire to be “good”. As Christian ladies, our desire to be “good” should be motivated by our love for and our desire to please the Lord. And I believe that should in some way be clear to those who know us.
There are many areas of life in which we women should be “good” and I believe the first one is in the area of our homes. In Proverbs 31:12, we read, “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” This refers to the way she treats her husband. We have already discussed some of the ways we can love our husbands, so I won’t go into a whole new discussion of that. But we just need to remember that our husband is a gift from God and no matter how much good we receive from him or how deserving we think he is, we are to be good to our husband. This means that we will spend our life seeking to enhance the ministry God has given him and helping him to achieve his potential before God. Remember, God created the woman “for” the man (Genesis 2:18), so this is our primary responsibility in life! We also need to be good to our children. This doesn’t mean giving them everything they desire, but nourishing and cherishing them and teaching them the things of God.
Then there is the area of everyone else around us. We as ladies are to be seeking to help those in need. Again, in Proverbs 31, though it is obvious that her main ministry was to her family, in verse 20 we read that, “She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.” If this is to be different from every other charity group in the community we need to strive to have a different motive and a different message than the rest of them. Those to whom we minister need to know that our motivation is to please God and carry out the ministry that He has given us to do. In other words, with our giving of good things needs to be a message of hope and salvation that is different from the others,
And finally, I think that the meaning of “good” in this passage has to do with a general life style and pattern to promote goodness in every area of our lives. It should influence the way we talk to our children and our husband, the way we interact with everyone around us, the general atmosphere that is evident in our homes when strangers come by and just the wonderful way that others can see Jesus living in our lives and affecting even how we look!
I trust this will give you a little insight into what it means for a Christian lady to be “good” in the Biblical sense of that word.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Happy Fourth of July
I trust that everyone is enjoying the celebration of the birthday of our country! I keep having to remind myself that for all of its issues, the Good Old U S of A is the best place on this planet and I praise the Lord for the gift of living in America!
I mentioned in my last entry that July 4 has a special place in my heart and the reason is that on July 4th of 1955, my Grandma Wakemen went to Heaven very suddenly at the age of 62!! She was way too young and I didn’t really know her very well, but she was my grandma, so I had a very special place in my heart for her and for this day ever after. My parents had been missionaries in Nigeria until the summer of 1954, so we hadn’t been in the US very long at the time she died. All of us were together there with my mother’s sisters and all of our cousins and I think that is almost the last time we were all together.
Anyway, I just want to remind us all that the way to really have an impact on our country for the Lord is to pray for it! Our tendency is to complain and talk about all that is wrong, but God has told us that we need to pray for those that are in authority over us and He has worked in history in spite of and even through some pretty awful kings! So there is precedence for some victory among us in spite of the leadership. REMEMBER: II Chronicles 7:14 “If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from Heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land!”
Here are a couple of July 4th recipes.
Patriotic Layers
1 small box of strawberry jello
1 small box of blue jello
1 cup blueberries
1 cup sliced strawberries
1 8 oz. container Cool Whip
Stir one cup of boiling water into each package of dry
jello in separate bowls.
Stir until jello is completely dissolved.
Add ½ cup cold water to each and stir.
Place blue jello in refrigerator to thicken and leave red
jello at room temp. After about 1 ½ hours, add blueberries to blue jello and place it in a clear glass bowl to get firm. Now place red jello in refrigerator to thicken for about 1 ½ hours. Refrigerate blue jello for about 30 minutes and then carefully spread Cool Whip over blue jello. Now add strawberries to thickened red jello and spoon over cream layer. Refrigerate for about three hours until firm. Top with more topping to decorate if desired.
Jamaican Lemon Pepper Chicken
3 pounds of boneless, skinless chicken breast
1 ½ Tblsp. Black pepper ( May want to cut this back a bit)
¾ cup lemon juice
5 Tblsp. Olive oil
1 teasp. Salt
1 teasp. Garlic powder
½ teasp. Oregano
1 Tblsp. Pickapeppa ( you may have to ask for this at your larger grocery stores)
1 Tblsp. Thyme
Place all of the above in a plastic bowl with a lid and let it marinade for 24 hours. Grill and serve.
Happy 231st Birthday, America!!!
I mentioned in my last entry that July 4 has a special place in my heart and the reason is that on July 4th of 1955, my Grandma Wakemen went to Heaven very suddenly at the age of 62!! She was way too young and I didn’t really know her very well, but she was my grandma, so I had a very special place in my heart for her and for this day ever after. My parents had been missionaries in Nigeria until the summer of 1954, so we hadn’t been in the US very long at the time she died. All of us were together there with my mother’s sisters and all of our cousins and I think that is almost the last time we were all together.
Anyway, I just want to remind us all that the way to really have an impact on our country for the Lord is to pray for it! Our tendency is to complain and talk about all that is wrong, but God has told us that we need to pray for those that are in authority over us and He has worked in history in spite of and even through some pretty awful kings! So there is precedence for some victory among us in spite of the leadership. REMEMBER: II Chronicles 7:14 “If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from Heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land!”
Here are a couple of July 4th recipes.
Patriotic Layers
1 small box of strawberry jello
1 small box of blue jello
1 cup blueberries
1 cup sliced strawberries
1 8 oz. container Cool Whip
Stir one cup of boiling water into each package of dry
jello in separate bowls.
Stir until jello is completely dissolved.
Add ½ cup cold water to each and stir.
Place blue jello in refrigerator to thicken and leave red
jello at room temp. After about 1 ½ hours, add blueberries to blue jello and place it in a clear glass bowl to get firm. Now place red jello in refrigerator to thicken for about 1 ½ hours. Refrigerate blue jello for about 30 minutes and then carefully spread Cool Whip over blue jello. Now add strawberries to thickened red jello and spoon over cream layer. Refrigerate for about three hours until firm. Top with more topping to decorate if desired.
Jamaican Lemon Pepper Chicken
3 pounds of boneless, skinless chicken breast
1 ½ Tblsp. Black pepper ( May want to cut this back a bit)
¾ cup lemon juice
5 Tblsp. Olive oil
1 teasp. Salt
1 teasp. Garlic powder
½ teasp. Oregano
1 Tblsp. Pickapeppa ( you may have to ask for this at your larger grocery stores)
1 Tblsp. Thyme
Place all of the above in a plastic bowl with a lid and let it marinade for 24 hours. Grill and serve.
Happy 231st Birthday, America!!!
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Teach the Younger Women to ... Be Keepers at Home
Last week I wrote on being “keepers at home” and I included two thoughts about why I think that is an important concept for all of us women to consider. The first idea that I covered was the fact that working in a place with men other than our husbands makes women vulnerable to the possibility of making relationships with men with whom they work which is not a good thing. I also commented on the fact that God has given women many ministries within and outside of the church and many of those aren’t getting done because so many Christian women are in the work place. If your children are grown and you have a job where you are used for the growth of God’s Kingdom, then praise Him and be sure that you are following the guidelines in the Scripture on how you approach your situation.
Today I want to cover two other reasons that I believe God would have young women to be “keepers at home”. The first one today has to do with the care of your children. I believe with all my heart that mothers and dads should raise their own children. I can’t give you a verse and reference for this thought, but I just know that most all of the guidelines in the Scripture given for parenting are given to parents and not to babysitters! And since God has given the dads the main responsibility of earning the living for the family, that leaves moms home to care for the children. I think that one of the main reasons we are where we are as a culture is that moms have given the privilege of raising their children to others! I don’t care how loving the caretaker you find, she is not going to love and teach your child as you do. And if you think that your child just loves to be out with other children and learning to “socialize”, you may very well be mistaken. From my experience, children love the security of being home and being in the same environment during their formative years! And don’t expect your child to necessarily tell you that. A young baby or young child has no way of expressing himself and you are responsible to do the right thing for him from your own Biblical understanding of what he needs.
Remember the verse I talked about in one of the earlier lessons? Deuteronomy 6:6&7: “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them DILIGENTLY (emphasis is mine) unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” In order to accomplish the intent of this verse, I believe it takes more than the short time and diminished amount of energy that is left after a busy day of doing whatever one might do outside the home. There is so much to teach and so much learning that needs to be taught in order to help protect our children from the culture, we must remember that when God gives us children that becomes our full time job; and though the responsibilities change, we never “retire” from the job of being a mother! By the way, when God wrote through Paul that women are to be keepers at home, I don’t believe He just meant not to have a job outside the home. There are many other ways a woman can violate this principle and you know the areas where you might be crossing the line.
My final thought that I would like to cover on this topic of being a “keeper at home” is also VERY important. When we marry, we willingly put ourselves under the umbrella of the man that God has given us to be our husband. When we work outside the home, we are putting ourselves under the authority of another man who, in most cases, is not our husband. That means that conflicts could arise. What if your boss requires something that conflicts with the desires of your husband? Maybe your boss expects you to travel away from home? What if your boss expects long hours that interfere with your responsibility at home to make the evening meal for your husband? How will you resolve that conflict? In reality, your husband’s desires should trump the requirements of the boss. And please don’t buy the “feel good “ lines of the culture that tell us that if we are both bringing in our “share” of the income, then we both take on “our share” of the household work. Now, there are things at home that men do that we just kind of expect them to do. But in general, women are given the responsibility of keeping the home and making it comfortable for our families. The other consideration on this topic (I kind of covered it last time, but I think it bears repeating) has to do with spending that much time with someone that isn’t your husband and how you must dress for your job. My guess is that if you work in an office, you probably dress more professionally and spend more time “looking good” than you would if you were spending the day home cleaning house. That is just the opposite of how it should be. Your husband deserves your best as you have the most invested in that relationship. “Looking good” in the office is also a bit of a danger as we don’t want to attract the attention of men that aren’t our husbands.
I pray that you will all take these blog entries in the spirit in which they are written. Remember, these are things that I would want my own daughters and grand daughters to know for the protection of their own marriages and for the Spiritual well-being of their own children. You are just sitting in on my very personal “chats” with my girls and I pray that they will be a challenge and an encouragement in your lives! And above all, may God use these feeble words for His Glory in the lives of whoever may read them! Next time I will take a break and do something related to July 4 which has and always will have a very special place in my heart!
Today I want to cover two other reasons that I believe God would have young women to be “keepers at home”. The first one today has to do with the care of your children. I believe with all my heart that mothers and dads should raise their own children. I can’t give you a verse and reference for this thought, but I just know that most all of the guidelines in the Scripture given for parenting are given to parents and not to babysitters! And since God has given the dads the main responsibility of earning the living for the family, that leaves moms home to care for the children. I think that one of the main reasons we are where we are as a culture is that moms have given the privilege of raising their children to others! I don’t care how loving the caretaker you find, she is not going to love and teach your child as you do. And if you think that your child just loves to be out with other children and learning to “socialize”, you may very well be mistaken. From my experience, children love the security of being home and being in the same environment during their formative years! And don’t expect your child to necessarily tell you that. A young baby or young child has no way of expressing himself and you are responsible to do the right thing for him from your own Biblical understanding of what he needs.
Remember the verse I talked about in one of the earlier lessons? Deuteronomy 6:6&7: “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them DILIGENTLY (emphasis is mine) unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” In order to accomplish the intent of this verse, I believe it takes more than the short time and diminished amount of energy that is left after a busy day of doing whatever one might do outside the home. There is so much to teach and so much learning that needs to be taught in order to help protect our children from the culture, we must remember that when God gives us children that becomes our full time job; and though the responsibilities change, we never “retire” from the job of being a mother! By the way, when God wrote through Paul that women are to be keepers at home, I don’t believe He just meant not to have a job outside the home. There are many other ways a woman can violate this principle and you know the areas where you might be crossing the line.
My final thought that I would like to cover on this topic of being a “keeper at home” is also VERY important. When we marry, we willingly put ourselves under the umbrella of the man that God has given us to be our husband. When we work outside the home, we are putting ourselves under the authority of another man who, in most cases, is not our husband. That means that conflicts could arise. What if your boss requires something that conflicts with the desires of your husband? Maybe your boss expects you to travel away from home? What if your boss expects long hours that interfere with your responsibility at home to make the evening meal for your husband? How will you resolve that conflict? In reality, your husband’s desires should trump the requirements of the boss. And please don’t buy the “feel good “ lines of the culture that tell us that if we are both bringing in our “share” of the income, then we both take on “our share” of the household work. Now, there are things at home that men do that we just kind of expect them to do. But in general, women are given the responsibility of keeping the home and making it comfortable for our families. The other consideration on this topic (I kind of covered it last time, but I think it bears repeating) has to do with spending that much time with someone that isn’t your husband and how you must dress for your job. My guess is that if you work in an office, you probably dress more professionally and spend more time “looking good” than you would if you were spending the day home cleaning house. That is just the opposite of how it should be. Your husband deserves your best as you have the most invested in that relationship. “Looking good” in the office is also a bit of a danger as we don’t want to attract the attention of men that aren’t our husbands.
I pray that you will all take these blog entries in the spirit in which they are written. Remember, these are things that I would want my own daughters and grand daughters to know for the protection of their own marriages and for the Spiritual well-being of their own children. You are just sitting in on my very personal “chats” with my girls and I pray that they will be a challenge and an encouragement in your lives! And above all, may God use these feeble words for His Glory in the lives of whoever may read them! Next time I will take a break and do something related to July 4 which has and always will have a very special place in my heart!
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Teach Young Women to be Keepers at Home
Part I
Well, we are back home after a wonderful time in Minnesota. Our kids gave my husband and me a little “get away” to Minnesota for our 60th birthdays which are both this year. They planned a B & B for us along with some fun eating, dinner train, riverboat lunch, and even some spending money! We were very touched and thankful for their love and the way they ministered to our hearts!
Now we are back to the subject at hand. The verse is Titus 2:5 which tells the older women to “teach the younger women to be … keepers at home”. I am very passionate about this topic. I was listening to a message by John MacArthur on this topic once and he said, “What does it mean that women are to be keepers at home? It means that women are to be keepers at home!” It is pretty hard to misinterpret this one. I believe that there are several reasons why God encouraged women to be “keepers at home”. I will cover some today and the rest next week.
I do not think that there is a huge problem with women earning money. I do not believe that this is the reason for this teaching. After all, Lydia was a seller of purple and we know other women in Scripture who had opportunities to make money. I do believe, however, that if a woman is going find a way to earn some money, she needs to be very careful where she finds that opportunity.
Now I know that there are extenuating circumstances and different conditions in our culture that require some women to be out in the work force, but I also know that many women are in the work force for many other reasons which do not fall into the category of need! Now let me preface this with a thought that I think is Biblical and that is that I believe this is mainly speaking to younger women who have children growing up in their home. I think it is necessary for obvious reasons for single women to be out working and I think that if an older woman has a job where she can be used openly to promote God’s Kingdom, then these cases fall into a different category. Even in these cases, however, I think this should be approached with a great amount of discernment since we live in a culture where we need to always be on our toes because the prince of this world is always on the prowl for the purpose of destroying homes and families.
For instance, we live in a society where people in the work place think nothing of making relationships with people who are not their spouses and they get fooled into thinking that going out to lunch or having a cup of coffee with another woman’s husband is a very innocent event. Besides the consideration of the children in the home, (which I think I will consider next week as a specific topic) the opportunity for contact with the spouses of other people is one of the other main reasons that I think that God wrote what He did to women. Our eyes should be opened to this danger as we are hearing quite regularly about people who fall into sinful situations with people at work or in other situations where men and women spend a lot of time together. I don’t believe this mandate of women keeping the home only applies to work opportunities. There are many other ways this contact can occur if a woman is out and about too much away from her husband and vice versa. Now do you see why this topic relates to the one about being “chaste”? So, I believe that one good reason God told women to be “Keepers at home” was to preserve our marriages! He knows our sinful natures and He knew what would happen if men and women work 8 hours a day, five days a week in the same office! He knows how easy it is to look to someone else to meet our needs if we perceive that our needs aren’t being met by our spouses! This admonition is for all ladies, even those who are single and those who have raised their children. Be on guard at all times if you are working or otherwise spending time with the husbands of other women.
And if at all possible, don’t be out there at all! Don’t work just so you can have more “stuff” or because you think you are bored at home! This brings up another reason I believe that God told women to “Be keepers at home”. He has given women many ministries within and outside the Church (besides raising children) and many of them are not getting done because so many women have put “things” ahead of people. I have been home for 34 years and I can honestly say that I have never lacked for good things to do. The opportunities for ministry are endless and we just need to respond to God’s guidelines in Scripture and be available to Him and He will keep us busy!
Next week, I will revisit this topic of being a “keeper at home”. There are, of course, issues related to raising children and possibly being under the authority of a man who isn’t your husband. Have a great week and I am keeping you all in prayer.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Teach the Young Women to be Chaste - Titus 2:5
Wow! This is a monumental task in the culture in which we live! I am afraid I am going to be brutally honest on this one, Ladies! My children used to use the phrase, “Tell us what you REALLY think, Mom!” I think that you may concur with their assessment by the time I am finished with this one!
I am not sure if there is a misunderstanding of the meaning of the word “chaste” or what it is, but from looking around, it appears that women are really drawing a disconnect on this one! The word “chaste” (again according to Webster) means “not indulging in unlawful sexual activity; virtuous; modest: said especially of women, etc.; implies moral excellence; etc. applied in behavior, dress, speech as exhibiting purity.” Another verse that applies to this topic is in I Timothy 2: 9 where it says that women are to adorn themselves in “modest apparel”.
Most of us probably feel pretty good about the fact that we are not engaging in “unlawful sexual activity” and that is good, but there is so much more to the meaning of the word “chaste” and I would like to get very honest and personal in my teaching on this topic. Ladies, the only man we are Biblically allowed to try to attract is our husband! That means that when we dress in a way so as to attract anyone else, we are out of line with Scripture! You may think that you do not dress in order to attract anyone else, but may I remind you that God wired men so as to be attracted by what they see, and if we let them see more of us than God planned, we are committing an act of carelessness that is a sin against them by causing them to think on something that may cause sin in their life. I know the answer that some of you will respond with and that is “if they have a problem with what I wear, then it is their problem and not mine.” And they ARE responsible before God to guard their own minds, but as their Christian sisters, do we love them enough to be willing to give up our desires in order to help protect them? Our Christian brothers are bombarded on every side by sights that can cause them to lust in their hearts and many of them are trying very hard to avoid that sin, but it is a constant battle for them! I have heard some say that they wish that coming to church would be a safe haven for them and a place where they can relax from the battle and it is so disconcerting to them that they have to face the same struggles at church that they face at the mall.
May I be specific with some of the things that I am talking about? Today, Ladies, most clothing for women is just plain too low cut! I know, as I must shop in the same stores where you all shop! I know I have heard some women say that they can’t find anything else. Well, there are ways around that! When we raised our two girls, I had to get out my sewing machine more than once to sew something that was more modest than what we were able to find in the stores. It is particularly difficult through the early and late teen years. Another option is to just look through racks and racks of things and you will always find something that fits your need! You may not have as much choice as you like, but God has promised to supply our needs and He has ALWAYS more than supplied the needs of the ladies in our family! Another problem is that many clothes are designed so as to draw a person’s eyes to the wrong part of your body. Now, this is just my own personal opinion, but I believe that when a man looks at a woman, his eyes should be drawn to her face. Her demeanor and countenance should be such that she has a pleasant look on her face, and her clothing, or lack thereof, should not detract from her face! If your clothes are too low, too short, too tight, too sheer, or too “anything”, that will distract from the beauty of your face which should reflect your joy, your Godliness and your love for your Lord.
To sum it up, let’s pretend that we are going to a party where Jesus Christ is the guest of honor. How would you want to look when you are introduced to our Savior? Would you be ashamed if you were wearing some of the things that are in your closet? Would your hand immediately go across your chest to cover something that you wouldn’t want Him to see?
I am going to be away from my computer for a week or so, so I won’t be getting back to the next topic for a short time here. The next topic will relate to being a “keeper at home” and believe it or not, I believe that that topic actually relates to the one I just covered. Trust you are enjoying your summer and I look forward to sharing with you again soon! Please feel free to leave some input on this topic or any other topic! I would love to hear from you!
I am not sure if there is a misunderstanding of the meaning of the word “chaste” or what it is, but from looking around, it appears that women are really drawing a disconnect on this one! The word “chaste” (again according to Webster) means “not indulging in unlawful sexual activity; virtuous; modest: said especially of women, etc.; implies moral excellence; etc. applied in behavior, dress, speech as exhibiting purity.” Another verse that applies to this topic is in I Timothy 2: 9 where it says that women are to adorn themselves in “modest apparel”.
Most of us probably feel pretty good about the fact that we are not engaging in “unlawful sexual activity” and that is good, but there is so much more to the meaning of the word “chaste” and I would like to get very honest and personal in my teaching on this topic. Ladies, the only man we are Biblically allowed to try to attract is our husband! That means that when we dress in a way so as to attract anyone else, we are out of line with Scripture! You may think that you do not dress in order to attract anyone else, but may I remind you that God wired men so as to be attracted by what they see, and if we let them see more of us than God planned, we are committing an act of carelessness that is a sin against them by causing them to think on something that may cause sin in their life. I know the answer that some of you will respond with and that is “if they have a problem with what I wear, then it is their problem and not mine.” And they ARE responsible before God to guard their own minds, but as their Christian sisters, do we love them enough to be willing to give up our desires in order to help protect them? Our Christian brothers are bombarded on every side by sights that can cause them to lust in their hearts and many of them are trying very hard to avoid that sin, but it is a constant battle for them! I have heard some say that they wish that coming to church would be a safe haven for them and a place where they can relax from the battle and it is so disconcerting to them that they have to face the same struggles at church that they face at the mall.
May I be specific with some of the things that I am talking about? Today, Ladies, most clothing for women is just plain too low cut! I know, as I must shop in the same stores where you all shop! I know I have heard some women say that they can’t find anything else. Well, there are ways around that! When we raised our two girls, I had to get out my sewing machine more than once to sew something that was more modest than what we were able to find in the stores. It is particularly difficult through the early and late teen years. Another option is to just look through racks and racks of things and you will always find something that fits your need! You may not have as much choice as you like, but God has promised to supply our needs and He has ALWAYS more than supplied the needs of the ladies in our family! Another problem is that many clothes are designed so as to draw a person’s eyes to the wrong part of your body. Now, this is just my own personal opinion, but I believe that when a man looks at a woman, his eyes should be drawn to her face. Her demeanor and countenance should be such that she has a pleasant look on her face, and her clothing, or lack thereof, should not detract from her face! If your clothes are too low, too short, too tight, too sheer, or too “anything”, that will distract from the beauty of your face which should reflect your joy, your Godliness and your love for your Lord.
To sum it up, let’s pretend that we are going to a party where Jesus Christ is the guest of honor. How would you want to look when you are introduced to our Savior? Would you be ashamed if you were wearing some of the things that are in your closet? Would your hand immediately go across your chest to cover something that you wouldn’t want Him to see?
I am going to be away from my computer for a week or so, so I won’t be getting back to the next topic for a short time here. The next topic will relate to being a “keeper at home” and believe it or not, I believe that that topic actually relates to the one I just covered. Trust you are enjoying your summer and I look forward to sharing with you again soon! Please feel free to leave some input on this topic or any other topic! I would love to hear from you!
Sunday, June 3, 2007
"...To Be Discreet..."
“…The older women likewise…that they teach the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet…” Titus 2: 3-5.
As we work our way through Titus 2, we have come to the third quality to be taught by the older women and that is to teach the young women to be discreet. A related word that we use more often would be the word “discretion”. I have looked up the word “discreet” in Websters Dictionary and it says “to be careful about what one says or does”. And since what is in our thoughts usually comes out our mouths, I would add to that to be careful what we think about. There are areas where I think we can all use some reminders as we walk through our lives.
I think one of the first things that would come to our minds would be in the area of gossip. Maybe we are all thinking that we are O.K. in this area as we don’t gossip maliciously. However, gossip is one of those things that can creep in and be very subtle and we are suddenly over the line. First of all, I don’t think that men are told to be “discreet”. I think that is significant as that tells me that God is implying that this is a problem that is more natural to ladies. I have been there, so I know the pitfalls that exist and I still watch my tongue at all times in order to keep ahead of this particular pitfall!
As ladies, we have our ways of gossiping that seem very “spiritual”. One of those ways is in the area of prayer. We can sometimes update everyone on the latest news by giving it in the form of a “prayer request”. Now there is nothing wrong with praying for a personal problem of one of our friends, but I kind of use the measuring stick of, “Would I be praying for this thing if I were all alone or is it more on my mind because I have an audience with whom to share it?”
I also sometimes share things with my husband under the guise of “I just need to tell someone!” Well, if it isn’t an uplifting piece of news and if it is not something that he needs to know, then I really don’t need to burden him down with it until or unless it comes to the time when he needs to know it. Of course, I never make a promise to hear something and NOT share it with my husband. You always need to be careful of something that is told to you if you are asked to promise not to tell your husband!
So far I have mentioned a couple of areas where we need to practice discretion in our conversation. There are also ways of being indiscreet in our actions.
Ladies, we live in a culture where we are encouraged to be like men! We can take their jobs, we can wear their clothes, we can talk their language and we can shout our views. Let’s remember that “gentle and quiet spirit which is very precious in the sight of God.” (I Peter 3:4) (I will probably take that verse up in more detail at some point.) Much of this kind of thinking comes from the media that we all take into our minds. Let’s be careful of what we allow into our minds. There is VERY little on television that is of any value to us and it definitely affects our thinking and we need to be very careful of how much mindless and Godless information we allow into our minds. We are told to “renew our minds” (Romans 12:2) (That topic will come into full discussion at some point as well.) But suffice it to say that you cannot renew your mind by taking in the information that is funneled into your home without using great discretion. I know! I used to think that if I watched something on television while my kids were napping, it was probably all right as “I was mature” and I knew how to handle things that weren’t good enough for the kids to watch. Well, I was wrong! If it is not “good enough” for the kids, it is off limits to me as well. Again, Psalm 100 says “I will set NO WICKED THING before my eyes.” And Ephesians 5:12 says “It is shameful to speak of those things which are done by them in secret.” So let’s be honest with ourselves and let’s refuse to let the culture dictate what thoughts control our minds! Filth, wickedness, unfaithfulness, adultery, immorality, argumentative spirits, disobedience of children, role reversals, etc. are all things that are off limits to Christians! Let’s think about things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, and good. (Philippians 4:8) This is the Biblical method for renewing your mind and thinking with true discretion!
There will be more later on renewing your mind, but for now, take one bite sized piece and work on it this week. Set one goal related to learning to be more discreet and let God give you strength and help to make one step in the right direction.
As we work our way through Titus 2, we have come to the third quality to be taught by the older women and that is to teach the young women to be discreet. A related word that we use more often would be the word “discretion”. I have looked up the word “discreet” in Websters Dictionary and it says “to be careful about what one says or does”. And since what is in our thoughts usually comes out our mouths, I would add to that to be careful what we think about. There are areas where I think we can all use some reminders as we walk through our lives.
I think one of the first things that would come to our minds would be in the area of gossip. Maybe we are all thinking that we are O.K. in this area as we don’t gossip maliciously. However, gossip is one of those things that can creep in and be very subtle and we are suddenly over the line. First of all, I don’t think that men are told to be “discreet”. I think that is significant as that tells me that God is implying that this is a problem that is more natural to ladies. I have been there, so I know the pitfalls that exist and I still watch my tongue at all times in order to keep ahead of this particular pitfall!
As ladies, we have our ways of gossiping that seem very “spiritual”. One of those ways is in the area of prayer. We can sometimes update everyone on the latest news by giving it in the form of a “prayer request”. Now there is nothing wrong with praying for a personal problem of one of our friends, but I kind of use the measuring stick of, “Would I be praying for this thing if I were all alone or is it more on my mind because I have an audience with whom to share it?”
I also sometimes share things with my husband under the guise of “I just need to tell someone!” Well, if it isn’t an uplifting piece of news and if it is not something that he needs to know, then I really don’t need to burden him down with it until or unless it comes to the time when he needs to know it. Of course, I never make a promise to hear something and NOT share it with my husband. You always need to be careful of something that is told to you if you are asked to promise not to tell your husband!
So far I have mentioned a couple of areas where we need to practice discretion in our conversation. There are also ways of being indiscreet in our actions.
Ladies, we live in a culture where we are encouraged to be like men! We can take their jobs, we can wear their clothes, we can talk their language and we can shout our views. Let’s remember that “gentle and quiet spirit which is very precious in the sight of God.” (I Peter 3:4) (I will probably take that verse up in more detail at some point.) Much of this kind of thinking comes from the media that we all take into our minds. Let’s be careful of what we allow into our minds. There is VERY little on television that is of any value to us and it definitely affects our thinking and we need to be very careful of how much mindless and Godless information we allow into our minds. We are told to “renew our minds” (Romans 12:2) (That topic will come into full discussion at some point as well.) But suffice it to say that you cannot renew your mind by taking in the information that is funneled into your home without using great discretion. I know! I used to think that if I watched something on television while my kids were napping, it was probably all right as “I was mature” and I knew how to handle things that weren’t good enough for the kids to watch. Well, I was wrong! If it is not “good enough” for the kids, it is off limits to me as well. Again, Psalm 100 says “I will set NO WICKED THING before my eyes.” And Ephesians 5:12 says “It is shameful to speak of those things which are done by them in secret.” So let’s be honest with ourselves and let’s refuse to let the culture dictate what thoughts control our minds! Filth, wickedness, unfaithfulness, adultery, immorality, argumentative spirits, disobedience of children, role reversals, etc. are all things that are off limits to Christians! Let’s think about things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, and good. (Philippians 4:8) This is the Biblical method for renewing your mind and thinking with true discretion!
There will be more later on renewing your mind, but for now, take one bite sized piece and work on it this week. Set one goal related to learning to be more discreet and let God give you strength and help to make one step in the right direction.
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